Starting Saturday

I woke up this morning wanting a big, buffet-style, brunch-style breakfast. I was envisioning pancakes and bacon and an omelette and hot buttered toast.

I woke up hungry.  I was completely ready to get everyone up and tell them I was treating them to breakfast.  Back in the days before "teenagehood" hit my boys and they didn't sleep til noon, I would often make a big brunch style breakfast at home and that would pretty much tide us over til dinner time.  It was a lot less expensive than going out and everyone could have what they wanted.  As life got more hectic, we carried on the tradition by going out to a local restaurant.  I was probably eating a week's worth of calories in one meal in both situations.

This morning I made some pancakes (Heart Smart Bisquick/milk/yogurt/rolled oats) and topped them with some thawed strawberries and ricotta cheese.  It was delicious and filling and satisifed my "itch". Along with a big mug of instant coffee and I felt satisfied both physically and emotionally and my wallet is thanking me too!  This clocked in at 7.5 points (549 calories).

I saw my doctor about 2 weeks ago and she was thrilled with my weight loss so far and all my "numbers".  She was worried I wasn't eating enough when she looked over my food journal. Sure, sometimes I indulge and go overboard, but she said "In general, I don't think you're hitting 1000 calories a day and you should be hitting minimum 1200 or an average of 1200 over a 5 day period".  She suggested Sparkpeople, which I know alot of bloggers use. So I've been tracking for about 6 days now and she's right...most days I hit about 900-1000. One day I hit 1400. Following WW, I know some days I don't hit my points target. I think 2600 points works out to about 1300 calories a day, give or take.  I'm going to keep tracking in Sparkpeople, although I find it time consuming and tedious - counting to 26 is much easier than 1200 - and see how it goes.

I think I've written about this before.  I'm in the danger zone for me right now. In other weight loss attempts (except my first attempt where I was almost at goal and then got pregnant), I hit 210-215 and get completely stalled.  Physically, emotionally, mentally. I cannot go on. Then I give up. Then I gain back the weight I lost, plus a few more pounds. More each time.  I've been here for about 8 weeks.  Usually by now, I've given up and am well on the way UP the scale again.

This time, I am not giving up. I am not gaining back the 37 lbs I've lost so far. If I never lose another pound, that is better than going back to 250 (and this time most likely 250+).  I will just keep pushing and going and eventually I will get to a healthy weight and when I do, I will stay there.  This time around is so different. I haven't even thought about giving up - not once. Not after a bad eating day, not after a stressful, no exercise day, not after a week of not tracking or eating properly. I wake up each day and tell myself (some days outloud!) that "I will eat well and do some form of activity TODAY. TODAY, I will take care of myself."  String enough days together and the weight comes off, I feel better, I move easier, I sleep better and my "numbers" show me I'm getting healthier and healthier, by the day.