September 2013–The Good, the Bad & the Ugly

The Good

• My step goal for September was 450,000 steps, I actually achieved 501,114 steps!
• Since I started wearing my FitBit in mid-July I have achieved over 1 million steps.
• No fibromyalgia flare ups since August 18.
• Completed two 5k events (BIST 5k and Bang & Olufsen 5k) with great walking times. Recaps here.
• 5lbs away from my pre-Lyrica weight gain and my lowest weight and my jeans fit again.
• Fall is here, the colours, the cooler weather and my birthday season – I am happy.
• I am blessed with wonderful friends and family.

The Bad

• My much awaited mini vacation to North Carolina is on hold again!
• I may not be able to make my third annual trip to Pennsylvania to visit my long time friends.

 

The Ugly

• I was “restructured” out of my job and I am unemployed.
• Being unemployed is merely bad, not ugly – the circumstances surrounding the “restructuring” are ugly. Everything isn’t settled yet so I can’t say any more than that.

No news

Halfway through September and I am doing well with my step challenge (450,000 steps for September). By September15, I should have had 225,000 steps and I actually have 240,376 so I’m about one day ahead of my schedule. I’m good with that. Most days I do a bit more than the 15,000/day  I need to meet the challenge and I’ve had two days where I fell a little short due to not feeling well and just being exhausted in general.

 

Speaking of that, in general I am feeling well. I still have days when I am tired and need more sleep or rest, but there hasn’t been another flare-up since the last one in August.  I am keeping busy with work, walking, reading and the never ending housework and laundry. It feels like that’s all I can fit into my life right now.

I did another 5k walk last weekend, the Bang and Olufsen (B&O) 5k and had so much fun, as usual. I also did 45 second jogs 4 times during the race and I felt ok. It wasn’t my lungs or breathing that was the problem but the heaviness in my legs, but hopefully if I keep at it, I’ll be able to jog for longer and longer.  Because of the little bouts of jogging, I had a really good time (for mostly walking) 50:51. There are some pics up at my events page.

This coming Saturday – September 21, I am doing another 5k walk  along the same route that I did the Toronto Women’s 5k a few weeks ago so it will be interesting to see if I can beat my time of 52:54.

There’s really not much going on in my life and I’m sorry this post is a little boring…but sometimes NO news is GOOD news!

Step by Step

August flew by!

I was busy with still adjusting to work, social stuff and family stuff. It was a good month.

Remember I got a new FitBit from my workplace at the end of July and committed to wearing it every day? I set myself a goal for August to hit 400,000 steps (that’s an average of 13,000/steps per day for all 31 days) and I did it! I ended on August 31st with 401,620 steps. I am very pleased with this achievement as I’ve always had the “all or nothing” approach to exercise and activity. I like that I don’t need to spend an hour walking all at once (although sometimes I do) for it to count, I like that all steps count and add up to my daily total. It is very motivating to see that number go up and up and all day long!

The scale is also going down again on a regular basis and I am sure the hour plus of walking every single day is helping that along.

I did have three days of a fibromyalgia flare up where I didn’t get any steps except hobbling around the apartment, so the fact that I still achieved my goal means a lot to me. The flare up upset me because I had been feeling so much better for so long and it came on so suddenly that I was worried I had completely relapsed, but I now understand that this may happen from time to time and I can try and recognize triggers for the future. In this instance, I think I was just overtired and had tried to do too much, physically, in the days leading up to the flare up, so I’m trying to listen to my body more and rest when I need to.

My goal for September is 450,000 steps. That’s an average of 15,000 per day for 30 days. I have completed two days and a little ahead of myself.

On a workday, it was not too difficult to get the 13,000 steps as I walk between my office and the train station twice a day (20 minutes each way) and then go for a 30 minute walk at lunch. It’s the weekends, when I have to make a conscious effort to get out and walk that was the challenge but I just told myself that it was not an option and I went out and did it even when I really, really, really didn’t feel like it. Most days I would end up walking more than I set out to – it’s that first step that is always the hardest! 15,000 steps will be a bit more challenging, but it is doable as many days in August I surpassed that or came very close to it.

I also did a 5k event in August. The Toronto 5k Women’s Run. You can read the recap here. It was a lot of fun and I set a new recorded PR for walking 5k. My next event is the Bang & Olufsen 5k on September 8 which I will also be walking. I don’t have anything planned for October or November yet.

I am feeling better physically and mentally than I have since the end of last year and although I still have quite a few changes to make in my life in the second half of 2013, I think I am heading in the right direction.

As July winds down...

Just a quick update to let y'all know I'm still alive and still chugging along.

It's taken me a while to get used to getting up at 430 again and having such long days but it's becoming habit again now and it's not as hard as it was the first week.  Having said that, this past week I was particularly tired and not sleeping well so Friday night I gave in and took pain medication and slept like a log until almost noon yesterday. I woke up feeling refreshed and pain free so it was worth it.

I've been making an effort to wear my fit bit every day and rack up my steps. It's a mental game I play with myself to beat my previous steps week over week. I tend to forget to wear it on the weekend (and I forgot yesterday) but I am trying to figure out a way to make it part of my weekend routine as well.

Tonight I went for a walk along the path near where I live that skirts the top of the mountain brow and I found a new path going down the escarpment I'd never seen before. I went down it a a few metres but it was very gravelly, dirt path-y and steep and I was wearing flip flops so I'll have to go back with proper footwear and see where it goes. If it meets the escarpment trail I used to run on, that would be wonderful because it would be a better way down for me than the stairs I normally use. I'll keep you posted!

I saw lots of broken trees and fallen branches from the storm we had last week and just as I was about 5 min from home, storm clouds rolled in and the rain came down hard. I got soaked the last few minutes coming home, but I love walking in the rain! Today was the perfect day for walking, blue skies, cool breeze and wispy clouds.

Weight wise, I am only weighing every two weeks but jeans that I wore two weeks ago that were snug are very loose today and I can see definition in my waist again. Woohooo!

Just some random pics I took with my iPhone while out walking today.

Eaton Downtown Dash Recap

Read the recap here: http://downwardtrenzevents.blogspot.ca/2013/07/eaton-downtown-dash-5k-walk-july-18-2013.html

Week In Review

This week, Tuesday, I went back to work after being off almost 6 months. It felt like a long week, believe me!

I only worked half days this past week but will return to full time hours starting tomorrow. The commute (2+ hours each way) is really hard physically, but I hope it will get easier as time goes by.  Work itself was fine. To be honest, I don't have a very challenging job right now and the people I work with are very nice, if it weren't for the commute, it would be a perfect situation.

I walk 20 minutes twice a day to and from the bus terminal to my office, so I get some exercise in twice a day. Not running, but its at a brisk pace as I have connections to make and not a lot of time to get from A to B if I don't want to be late for work or miss my bus/train.  I realised by the second day that I would need to walk to work in workout clothes and then dress "business casual" when I get to work. I was getting to work as a hot sweaty mess and no one wants that!  Coming home, I don't care as I just shower as soon as I get in, but in the morning I don't want to start my day off feeling icky!

My eating has been at about 80%. This week I want to focus on getting back to 100% and getting some more walking in after work in the evenings when I can walk longer stretches than my two twenty minute jaunts.

The fibromyalgia symptoms have lessened with the help of medication and cutting out wheat and sugar (most of the time) and I am hopeful that I have found the magic ticket to feeling better again.

It was also a busy week socially. I go weeks without doing a SINGLE thing then it all hits at once.

This past Saturday I met up with a my best friend from childhood. David and I were in school together from Grade 1 to Grade 6, the same class and were best friends. When I moved away in Grade 6 we lost touch and then he found me on FaceBook a few years ago and although we talked about getting together and going around our old neighbourhood we never did until yesterday. It was so much fun. Seeing him and also all our old haunts was so nostalgic and I remembered things I hadn't thought about in years. We walked about 7km and had lunch in Brazilian restaurant in our, formerly, Italian neighbourhood. There also happened to be a Brazilian Street Festival going on at the same time so there was music, live bands, great Brazilian and Italian street food, dancing and lots of other entertainment.

In the collage below, from the chain link fence going to the right:

Our old elementary school in the distance. Home for grade 1 to 6 for both of us.

Me, being silly and cooling off in the wading pool in our neighbourhood park. The same wading pool we spent many many summer days splashing about in.

Me and David.

My childhood home, a Victorian semi-detached house on a tree lined side street. I remember the day I helped my dad dig the hole to plant the maple tree in the front yard, I remember the weekend my dad and uncle put up the aluminum siding and the chain link fence, I remember helping my dad mix the concrete for the front walk and steps.....things I hadn't remembered for a long time.

Me, outside the library that fostered my life long love of reading.

Me, in the laneway beside our elementary school. The photo below it, is me in the same place in 1974 aged 7 and is also the same two pictures in the side by side collage below.  As a child and teen, my family moved alot. We didn't just move house, we moved countries and cities and during one of those moves, the box with all our childhood photos was lost. Until yesterday, I did not have one single childhood photo. I was so thrilled that David had kept this one and had a copy made me for me.

On Sunday (today) I met up with another friend and we went and saw "The Heat" with Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy. It was a very funny movie and I laughed all the way through it. Afterwards we went for a 5.6km walk along Hamilton's Waterfront Trail. It was the perfect afternoon, light breezes coming off the lake and although it was overcast, it was a very warm afternoon.

Now...I'm ready for bed to face the week ahead.

Hope your week was good!

Event Recap and Update

Yesterday was the 3rd annual Meredith Hagan Inspiration Run. You can see an event recap here.  It was a great morning for a great cause.

After the event, my friend Melissa and Liam (my son) went for lunch then came home to a much needed hot shower. I napped for about an hour then headed to Bayfront Park in Hamilton to meet another friend for coffee and we spent 3 hours  talking and walking around people and boat watching.

Today, I am sore.  My thighs, shoulders and hips are screaming at me. I also am feeling some discomfort in my heels (is that plantar fascitiis?) that I've never experienced before.  I may have overdone it a bit yesterday with the trail walk and the evening walk, but it felt so good to be outside and moving around and not fatigued and in constant pain like I have been for so long. The soreness will pass but the memories will last, right?

Melissa and I are looking at what event we would like to do next. I know I want to do a 5K in Toronto in September and I have not completely ruled out the Niagara Falls 10k yet again, either.

In  other news, I am scheduled to return to work on July 2nd and am actually looking forward to the routine of life again. I do so much better with a routine. I am not looking forward to my 4+ hours a day of travelling but I do like my job (and not just the paycheque) and I do like the people I work with/for so it's all tradeoff, right?

I am hoping once I am back to work for a week and can get my schedule back in sync that I can try running again, baby steps though. I will go back to Week 1, Day 1 of Couch to 5k and work my way through it. I did try to restart it a few weeks ago but I don't think I was physically ready and I was in too much pain while doing it and way too much pain afterwards. The medication for the Fibromyalgia is definitely helping as is sleeping more again, so I am very optimistic that things can only continue to improve from here.

The F Word

After months of tests and exams, I have an answer, sort of.

I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.

I say “sort of” because there is no definitive test for this condition and it is diagnosed by a set of symptoms and ruling out other possible causes. Thankfully, all the terrible causes for my pain, fatigue and the burning/itching in my muscles, have been ruled out.

The treatment plan is medication and “gentle” exercise. Exercise that does not put stress on the joints, like swimming, aquafit, walking and yoga. I can, and do, do all of these in varying degrees of proficiency. My family doctor, my rheumatologist and my endocrinologist have strongly advised against running/jogging until this flare up has subsided and the pain has stabilised.

One of the biggest symptoms for me is poor sleep because the pain keeps me awake or wakes me up from sleep. Unfortunately, the lack of sleep plays havoc with diabetes and hypothyroidism – both of which I also have.

My plan, for now, is to take the medication to stabilise the pain and help me sleep – which will in turn help me get my blood sugar back down to the normal range – where it’s been the last 8 years except for the last 4 months while I’ve been going through this. These two things will help me continue to lose weight.

Oh and a bone scan shows I have plantar fascitis – but since I am not feeling the pain associated with it and I have no pain in the heels when walking/running/climbing stairs – I’m ignoring that diagnosis.

I haven’t been a complete slug while this has been going on, I walk most days – at least 2-3 km and go up and down the stairs in my apt building several times a day. And I intend to do some walks in events this summer and when I start to feel better, I will try running again…even though I will have to go back to Week 1, Day 1 of C25K. But I know I can do it this time, so I am sure it will feel much easier.

Today I had to go to Toronto (a 2 hour trip each way) to see my doctor and I am truly exhausted, both physically and mentally. This is has to get better as this is the same trip I take to go to work each day and I can’t afford to be off work much longer.

I’m hopeful that this medication will work and not have horrendous side effects. I have the utmost trust in my endocrinologist and my family doctor.

I have tried other medications but had to stop them for varying reasons after a very short time.

I have also been reading all I can find about Fibromyalgia  and there is a lot of anecdotal evidence/studies that indicate eliminating or even reducing wheat and sugar help to reduce the symptoms.  Two weeks ago I decided to go completely 100% sugar and wheat free.  I haven’t noticed a change in my symptoms yet but I am going to stick with it. Even if it doesn’t help this problem, it’s still a good thing.

Thank you to all of you who have emailed or sent me messages asking about me or keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. It has been a huge comfort.

Happy Mother's Day

Just a reminder how blessed I am. 

L-R: Iain, Enz, Liam

July 2012

Starbucks Hazel 5k and Subway 2k Fun Run/Walk

Read the recap here: My Events

Mayday or is that May Day?

Woohoo, May is here and so is Spring!!!

Today, I had an appointment in Toronto and when I left the hospital to walk back to the subway, I took a wrong turn (ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you I could get lost in my own bathroom) and ended up going down a residential street that had many many many blooming lilac trees. White lilacs and lilac lilacs. The scent was like heaven. I walked slowly and enjoyed the bright sunshine and the cool breeze that was bringing me the lilacs along with me. I love lilacs. When I was 18-21 I used to share a house with three other girls, and my bedroom had a lilac tree right outside. For about 4 weeks every year my whole bedroom would smell of lilacs, even my pillow and comforter. It was wonderful. I am always transported back to those years whenever I smell lilacs, they have such a short bloom period.

In other news, I walked about 3k today (mostly because of that wrong turn) and I felt ok! I had a good conversation with my rheumatologist and my chiropractor about my concerns and they answered all my questions and my mind is easier.

Almost every day I get emails offering me free “stuff” to review on my blog. I’m not sure why because I have very few followers and I  don’t “advertise” my blog anywhere, it’s not connected to my FB account and I don’t use Twitter and I am hardly a weight loss or fitness success story.  I don’t monetize my blog.

I always  say no thank you to the diet pills, shakes, drugs and gadgets, but I always,  always say yes to books and if it is a different version of something I already use.

I have 3 books waiting to be reviewed with two more on the way and I am also getting a yoga block in a few weeks. I don’t do give-aways as I am not interested in drumming up blog traffic for one post. I blog for me and if I can share some information that’s useful to others, that’s a bonus.

So…I will try and get to the reviews early next week. Stay tuned!

 

Goodbye April...and good riddance!!!

I am not one to wish my life away, but April 2013 is a month I would like to put behind me and forget.

I had more doctor's appointments and tests in April than I have in the last 3 years combined, I felt like absolute crap every single day, I've had some personal relationship problems and worst of all, my father passed away.  It was a difficult month. I am hoping May brings more sunshine and less showers (both literally  and figuratively).

May is starting off on a good note with a 5K event on Saturday night. I had originally, back in January, registered for the 10K Run Event but I am not well enough or strong enough to even walk 10K continuously so I'm going to downgrade and do the 5K walk instead. I am actually looking forward to it. Sunday morning I am doing a 2K walk in the same event with some friends who just started walking. I'm not registered, I'm just going to walk with them to encourage and support them.

The next two days I have doctor's appointments to get the results of all the April tests.  I am hoping for some good news and an end in sight.

I had a second chiropractic  treatment yesterday and  have much more range of motion in my neck and shoulders than I did last week, and slightly less pain, so I'm taking these as wins! I even did some yoga practice this morning that I was too stiff and sore to do even a week ago. It felt good to really stretch properly after so long.

It's a gorgeous day out - I went for a walk along the path that runs across the top of the mountain near where I live. I walked to the coffee shop and got an iced coffee (coffee over ice with 2 creams – none of that base/syrup stuff they use!) and then walked back. I went past the steps in the photo, not down them this time. I might try to go down and come back up half of them later this week and see how it goes (250 steps each way), I used to do the thing (500 steps each way) 3-4 times a week.

The GPS on my phone is screwy, or its the Nike app because its just over 3k round trip, not 5k, so that’s a bit annoying. I can’t even run a 7:40km let alone walk it!! I may have to redownload the app and see if it fixes itself.

I was pretty tired after the walk though and I was going quite leisurely, stopping to take snaps and I forgot to pause the app while I was in the coffee shop as well.

Still, it felt good to stretch my legs and hips and work on my posture.

Then when I got back, just as I was posting this, my friend Guenther called to go for coffee, which we didn’t end up getting. But I did get to Costco to stock up on egg whites and sweet potatoes.

To be truthful, I am now exhausted.

I should sleep well tonight! Last night was a terrible night for sleep, I was in a lot of pain and I had a lot on my mind – bad combination for sleep!

Jillian Michaels is coming to Hamilton!

I admit, I watch The Biggest Loser. I don't know why they call it "reality TV" when it is the furthest thing from reality, but it is entertaining and although I am not a fan of Jillian  Michaels on that program, I really enjoy her podcasts and find her style of speaking to be very motivational and uplifting.  

So...I was very excited to see that she was coming to my little city of Hamilton during her "Maximize Your Life" Tour and I have the opportunity to see/hear her live. I know quite a few other Bloggers have gone to this show and enjoyed it, so I am looking forward to it!

I didn't know until I had listened to her podcasts that she was overweight as a teenager and her story of becoming fit and becoming the trainer she is today was interesting and motivating.

Here's info about the show!

Some info from the Maximize Your Life press release.

JILLIAN MICHAELS LAUNCHES “MAXIMIZE YOUR LIFE” TOUR

ACROSS NORTH AMERICA

World’s Leading Health and Wellness Expert Appears Live on Stage

LOS ANGELES, CA – 2/ 20/2013 - Promising an evening of inspiration that will forever change and motivate lives, America’s health and wellness guru Jillian Michaels is set to launch her first ever “Maximize Your Life” our this spring. Kicking off April 4 in Winnipeg, Ontario. The tour touches down in 33 cities across the United States and Canada, wrapping up May 21 in Toronto.  The complete itinerary is listed below and at www.jillianmichaels.com

In this intimate and uniquely personal experience, Jillian shows how to harness your potential, kick-start your goals and live an exceptional life – sharing her keys to health, success and happiness. No hype, no false promises: Just results.

“Your health is the platform that your entire life is built upon - from your physical health to your confidence and self-worth, I will give you the skillset, tools and insights to transform any aspect of your life immediately so you realize your true potential, and create the future you’ve dreamed of and deserve,” says Jillian.

Imagine. Believe. Achieve. These three words lay at the core of Jillian’s message. In a riveting, two-hour show, Jillian will awaken you to reignite your passion, define your goals and live in your authentic truth.  She will teach you how to redefine your self-image, dramatically enhance your confidence and self worth and blast through all obstacles internal and external. 

Finally, Jillian will supply the information and action plan that will empower you to conquer any challenge and achieve every goal.  You will learn the science of shedding pounds, the impact of hormones on weight loss and how to bring them back into balance. She demonstrates the how, what and why of workouts, sharing her most effective methods of burning fat and calories. And most importantly she will teach you how to shift your attitude, behavior, and mindset to maximize your life.

Inspiring and motivating initially thru television, Jillian Michaels has become the world’s leading health and wellness expert. She has appeared on 11 seasons of NBC’s “The Biggest Loser;” seen in more than 90 countries around the world. As a motivator and role model, Jillian has made a unique connection with her audience, one that stems from her own personal journey. 

Some videos you can watch:

To find out more information or purchase tickets for the Jillian Michaels Maximize Your Life Tour, check out the following link:   

http://bit.ly/15RYLr4

It's been a while...

I didn't realise how long though!

Since my last post, I've run the gamut of tests, drugs and doctors, yet still have no answers for the pain and  fatigue.  I finally decided to stop the medication (Lyrica) when it was not helping the pain but was causing mood swings and weight gain.  I've not been able to exercise much, even short walks  (3k or so) leave me exhausted and pretty much useless for the next day because of the pain. Running isn't even in the realm of possibility right now.  The pain and physical stress is affecting other health issues I have and it's like an endless circle of trying to manage symptoms and side effects.

I did see a chiropractor today and I had some minor relief from the pain immediately after the treatment, but now I feel like a ton of bricks has fallen on me - which he told me to expect due to all the soft tissue work he did.  I'm hoping that regular treatments will give me some relief until the cause can be found.

Right now, I'm just taking one day at a time and trying to get through as best I can.

I am reading all your blogs though I  am not commenting much.

I do have a post about an upcoming show I'm going to that I'm looking forward to writing, probably sometime over the weekend.

On a good note - this weekend we will finally have Spring like weather.

Nothing to Post Right Now

I was overly optimistic in my last post. There's stuff going on that I am not ready to post in a public blog. Thank you to everyone who's checked up on me - it means a lot and helps to know people care.  You guys are all amazing :) I am reading blogs just not commenting much.

Some of you are like real friends to me, so if you like to keep in touch, please feel free to email me at downwardtrenz@gmail.com and I'll fill you in as best I can.

Take care.

On the upside

...finally.

Today I woke up and felt like I wanted to DO something.  I was able to have a long hot shower without the water on my back causing incredible pain, some pain, but bearable compared to the last two and a half weeks.

I ended up also having a kidney  infection that caused a whole new level of pain and ickyness but I think I am on the upside now. I think I'm going to venture outside today and go for a short walk where I normally run. It feels like I have not left the apartment in weeks, which isn't true, I've been out every couple  of days mostly to get groceries or go to a doctor appt.

I am off work until the end of next week and the insurance company has approved my claim so that is another worry off my plate.

I've also reconnected with an old friend and that has made my mood lighter and also resolved a lot of issues that had brought me down over the Fall/Winter.

Thank you so much for all your kind comments and emails. It really does help to know so many people care.

Tired of Being Sick and Tired

Sorry I've not been around much, I've tried to comment on a few blogs here and there. This case of Shingles has completely knocked  me on my ass. I keep thinking "tomorrow will be better" and then it isn't.

I hurt all over, I feel weak and tired and have zero energy, mental or physical,  and in between I am mad that I can't fix it. My doctor keeps telling me, "Rest, it has to run it's course - you can't do anything to make it go faster." It's been almost two weeks.

I am thankful that this is not a serious illness, that I will get better and that I have friends to help me through this. The other day I could not carry a laundry hamper up the stairs. I had to keep stopping I was so winded and weak.

I walked around the block 2 days ago and was so out of breath I wanted to cry.

Tomorrow will be better.

One day at a time

Thank you so much for your well wishes on yesterday's post.

I have to say that I have a new found respect for people with chronic illness who deal with pain everyday.

At least I have the comfort of knowing that eventually the pain from the shingles will go away  and I just need to hang in there and push through each  day.

Today, I woke up  in the worst pain yet and every movement hurt. Brushing my teeth hurt, lifting my arms to put my tee shirt on hurt, leaning over to put my socks on hurt. It was a rough, rough day.

Thankfully, Liam is mostly self sufficient, but I don't think he 'gets' how painful this is for me and he is not used to seeing me like this.  The last time I was completely incapacitated was when I broke my tailbone in 2005, and I don't think he remembers that.  Anyway, we muddled along today and I got him to do the vacuuming, take out the recycling and garbage and tidy up a little.  I still have lots of laundry to do and since I need to take it to the laundry across the street (down three flights of stairs and then through the courtyard and across the street), it won't be happening until this pain has become more bearable. Right now I don't even think I could lift the laundry hamper, let alone carry it that far.

On the one hand, this is coldest week of the Winter (so far) with unusually low temperatures, so it isn't a bad week to not have to spend 4 hours a day commuting.

I got a surprise email from an old friend today and his email and the pain meds and the pain made me a blubbering mess. Funny how sometimes things just "get to you", you know? I'm ok though and it wasn't anything to be upset about anyway, it was more sentimentality and nostalgia that upset me than the email itself.

I'm rambling - I'm going to blame it on the pain meds!

I did register for the 10k in May and have joined a team that is fundraising for the Crohns and Colitis foundation in Canada.  I would love to reach my goal of $100, so if any of you out there want to contribute, no matter how much or little, please do so! Here's the link to my fundraising page.

Fundraising Page

I'm still going to register for the Chocolate Race (and I'll figure out how to get there at some point) and also the Round the Bay 5k in Hamilton as well.

I am optimistically hopeful that I can start running again  next week.

Shingles

That's what I got. Pain, burning - just feel like crap.

I had a "back to running" plan ready to
start yesterday then was hit with this.

I'm not even going to start on side effects of the medications - I will start crying.

Races

I've got two races lined up for 2013 so far and need to get my running back in full swing.  I've been mostly treadmill walking with bursts of running and running short distances outside on the days we've had good weather, but nowhere close to what I was doing last year when I was doing the Running Room clinics.

The Meredith Hagan Run - I'm going to walk this one with my friend Tina. It's a 5.6 trail run/walk through a conservation area. It was in my top three favourite races/courses last year and I'm excited to be doing it with my hiking buddy this year. We're trying to rope in a few of our other friends as well so we have a bit of a bigger group by the time race day rolls around.

Valeant Pharmaceuticals 10k - This is part of the Mississauga Marathon weekend and I'm doing it with my blogging friend Leanne, who I will finally get to meet. Very excited about that as well.

I'm also still considering the Round the Bay 5k in March in my home city and the Scotiabank 10k and I really want to do the Yonge Street 10k and the Chocolate Race again.

Mostly it depends on scheduling and if I can work out transportation so I may have to miss some of last year's favourites and stick to more local venues.

The last race I did I was the Niagara Falls 10k in October.

I'm going to fight my fear of the treadmill and run at a faster pace on it this week. I am terrified of falling off.  I'm going to go up to 6 m.p.h. for a few minutes at a time and add a few minutes each week. This is way faster than I even run outside so it will take some doing, but I figure the challenge of doing it will keep me interested.

For Me

I took this from the "I See Fit People" Facebook page. This is one of the few pages I look forward to every day.  If you're on FB, give it a look!

I haven't made New Year's Resolutions in years. Although I think there is a lot of merit in the feeling of "starting fresh" and having renewed optimism at this time of year, I find that once I start to focus too much on any one aspect of my life, the other aspects start to fall apart.

2012 was not a great year for me. It seemed every month there was some problem, tragedy or challenge to face and overcome. Some worse than others, some minor but on top of other issues seemed insurmountable. Some health related, some relationship and family related, some career and some just bad luck related. I like the idea that on January 1, the slate is wiped clean and 2013 brings with it a whole new set of circumstances and opportunities.

But, reality isn't like that. Our bodies don't know a switch was flipped on January 1 and they don't care. Our bodies only react to the actions we take. What they care about is what we do consistently, day in and day out - regardless of what the calendar says.

2012 was the year I let go. I let go of preconcieved ideas I had about weight loss and fitness. I let go of people that I thought were friends for life just because I'd known them a long time. I let go of letting other people dictate my dreams and accepted that my dreams are just as good, even they are not as lofty.

If I am to take anything from 2012, it is that life happens and I can only control my reactions. It is my reactions that make a situation bearable, conquerable or a misery.

As this relates to my weight loss efforts, it means that I am no longer comparing myself to others or to others' ideas of succcess. My focus is to do the best I can with what I have and what I am capable of doing at any given moment. It does me no service to try and live up to standards put out there by "the weight loss community" and bring myself down in the process. I am done believing that if I do "abc", then "xyz" must follow and then feeling like a failure when it doesn't.

It has taken me a long, long, time to lose 50lbs and it will take me a long time to lose the next 50 or so. I am not a bad person because I didn't lose all my weight in 12 months and I won't be a better person when I do get to my goal weight. That does't mean I accept being this weight - I don't - it's not good for my health or my well being.

I can't give any of you weight loss advice, there are far more successful weight loss bloggers than me out there - but I would like to wish you all success and happiness, in whatever forms that takes for YOU.