I woke up this morning with a renewed sense of purpose and tired of feeling overwhelmed and stressed by life.
Fall is always the signal of a fresh start for me - much more so than January or Spring is. I know I can't "fix" some of the things in my life, but I refuse to let them rule me or to get into a rut.
I have a dear friend who is a kind of life coach and he is helping me to see patterns in my behaviour and feelings and I think this will help me get through this. Another dear friend told me I do best when I have a plan and goals and I need to stay focused on them - he's right - but life gets in the way and although I hate myself for this later, I seem to put all my own goals on the side line while I am working on "life". I think I need to realise that my life isn't compartmentalized - well I have realised that - I just need to work on accepting it. The compartments aren't neat rooms like in an old Victorian house, they are more open concept like a new condo. They all run together and its hard to see where my marriage and my weight loss efforts and raising my kids are seperate issues, the lines are blurred...does that make sense?
I know that writing this blog every day helps me stay focused on my weight loss efforts and on a healthy lifestyle, so stopping because I have other stuff on my mind, just doesn't make sense. The point is to keep it in my mind all the time to the point I don't have to think about it, it just is.
Tomorrow the boys go back to school. This means regular meal times, packing lunches every night and eating as a family again - this imposed control will make life easier for me until I can get my sh*t together myself.
So despite my lack of tracking the past week I ate well, when I did eat - which wasn't often enough. I didn't do any formal exercise but I did walk every day for at least 20 minutes. The scale this morning says 214.8 which is 2lbs down from last Monday when I did my monthly measurements. I am still determined to hit 199 by October 30th.
Sometimes I analyse things too much instead of just doing them. I'm going to try to DO more and THINK less.
Let's see how it goes :)