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Sep 9, 2014

So much to say

So much has happened since my last post. I've been so busy at my new job and life.

Part of my world collapsed just over two weeks ago when my husband passed away suddenly. We had been separated for a few years, and although I have never discussed the reasons behind our separation in a public forum, the people who know us and our situation, know us that we cared for each other very much and remained friends after our separation.

He was the father of my children and the only adult relationship I've been in. I met him when I was 17 and we were together for almost thirty years.

Now that the service is over and we are trying to find a new normal, I am feeling broken and lost. I know time heals all wounds and we (my boys and I) are blessed with the most amazing family and friends who have been supportive and kind throughout the last few weeks and they will continue to support and love us for as long as we need them.

We are just taking one day at a time. If I think of the past, I fall apart and if I think to a future without him, I fall apart. Sometimes I take it moment by moment. It is heartbreaking to have lost him. It's heartbreaking to watch my boys suffer and not know how to ease their pain.  It's heartbreaking to watch life go on and  not be able to bring him back.