Dec 31, 2009

Food Review - Pop Chips

Pop Chips

I have heard about these on several other blogs and saw them in Costco tonight. They only had one flavour - Cheddar Potato - and thought they might be a healthier alternative to chips for the New Year's Eve snacking.

These chips are never baked or fried..they are POPPED!

I dutifully counted out 31 chips and am slowly munching on them. First thing, they are very salty!!! More salty than potato chips.  That's kind of a good thing because I am not going back for a second helping of another 31 chips and I am drinking lots and lots of water.

I don't know if I love them - I think I'll give another flavour or two a try before I decide if they're becoming a pantry staple.

They are super crunchy, airy and light though.

Nutrition info for Cheddar Potato:

Disclaimer - I was not given Pop Chips by the manufacturer or any one linked to the manufacturer nor asked to review them.

New Look for a New Year

Thanks to Emily at The Blog Fairy for my new look.

Happy New Year to all of you. 2010 is going to be our year. We've stayed the course through the busiest, most decadent eating time of the year and we are still going strong.

Ain't nothin' gonna stop us now!

Grab Bag

This post is a bit of a catch up again of questions/comments/emails I've recieved from other bloggers.

Progress Pics

I've had a few people now, more than once, ask me when I will post current pictures. My plan was to post every 50lbs because I truly hate the camera, I am not the least bit photogenic and that has nothing to do with my size, even at size 5, I hated having my photo taken.  I am closing in on 50lbs so hopefully by the end of January I will have a new pic for you.  The pic on the right in my profile info was taken during the summer and I think shows some of the weight loss in my face.

The Beck Diet Solution

I am truly enjoying the feedback from you all on this little project of mine.  It really does help me to stick with reading it knowing that people are waiting for my updates and having this sense of community is an important motivator for me.

Diet/Exercise plan

I don't often post my food or exercise unless its truly memorable for some reason, it's just too cumbersome and would be boring to type, and read, over and over. I'm pretty much a creature of habit.  Until this week I was following Weight Watchers but have now switched to counting calories on the advice of my doctor, so I'm going with 1200 calories a day and see how it works. It may require some tweaking and I am not a set in stone person, if it doesn't work, I'll figure it out as I go along. So far though....I seem to be doing well :)

Weight Loss Posts

I also don't often post my weight or my weight loss. I weigh every day so I always know where I am. When I started this attempt on January 28, 2009  my goal was to get healthy, manage my blood sugar and cholesterol levels and the side effect would be losing weight. Losing weight was not my primary goal. I find whenever I start to focus on the weight on the scale too much, I lose sight of everything else and end up failing miserably.  I try to look at my weight loss as an ongoing event and look at the milestones.  The next milestone for me is to reach below 210 - my lowest weight in 5 years.  Once I get there - I'll set a new milestone - 199.  Slow and steady wins the race for me and keeps me going day after day.

Who am I?

I don't share a lot of personal stuff on my blog just because I am a private person by nature and don't share a lot of personal stuff in real life either!  I am not trying to be mysterious or vague, it's just my personality :)

But here's a little bit about me :)

I'm 42.
I'm a Scorpio.
I've been married for 21 years to the same man :)
We have two teenage boys.

Ok Ok...I know it says all that in my profile!

Seriously, I am just a normal person.  I work,  I come home,  do housework, cook, fight with the kids and husband, love my friends and family passionately, love to read, am hopelessly tone deaf and have eclectic music tastes but am very definitely "an 80's girl".  My most prized possession is my wedding ring. My favourite books are The Chronicles of Narnia. I first read them when I was 6 and I read them at least twice a year. It never ceases to amaze me how each time I read them I learn something new about myself and my life and how I want to live it.  My recent most favourite novel is The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger.  I love to cook. My favourite food to cook and eat is Italian.  I eat very little red meat just because I don't like the texture. I absolutely hate cooked oatmeal and no matter how many ways I try it - cannot get past the fact that it reminds me of baby vomit.  My father is Italian and my mother British (English), I was born in England but have lived most of my life in the Toronto area and love Toronto and its diversity and multiculturalism.  I have 3 younger siblings that mean the world to me, 2 brothers and one sister.  Three nieces and one nephew and hoping my newly married sister will give me another niece to spoil one day (no pressure Louisa!!).  I've struggled with my weight since my early twenties, until then I was average size, active in an every day kind of way, I never did formal sports or exercise.  I'm only 5'0 tall, lots of people say they imagined me taller when they first meet me...I'm not sure what that means exactly!!!  My favourite physical feature are my blue eyes and my favourite characteristic is my loyalty and dedication.

Ok..more than you wanted to know?

Thank you all again for your support and encouragement.

Day 21 – The Beck Diet Solution



Moving right along to Day 21.

If you follow Beck’s plan strictly, you would now be finishing your first week of dieting and be ready for your first weigh in.  I weigh in every day so that doesn’t really align with her plan but it works for me.

Her message about preparing for weighing in is very good though and I think would be very helpful for a lot of people who let the scale dictate their actions/feelings for the day after weigh in.

She says the purpose of the weekly weigh in is threefold.

  1. They allow you to celebrate and build up your confidence when you’ve lost weight.
  2. They keep you honest if you’ve gained weight.
  3. They help you stay committed to the program.

She goes through an exercise that demonstrates the powers of sabotaging thoughts if the weigh in is not what the reader expected.  The thought of “Why bother? I’m not losing weight anyway, I might as well eat what I want since it’s not working.”

She also recommends making a weight loss graph to have a visual of your success and to show you patterns that may emerge during your weight loss journey. Recognizing the patterns can go a long way to alleviating the self-induced stress.

Big message from Beck in this chapter.

Don’t expect your weight to go down every week – it won’t.

Personally, I think she could have done a little more in this chapter to explain the whys of weight fluctuations.  Here is a site that I was given on the Weight Watcher Canadian site that does explain why sometimes the scale doesn’t seem aligned with our efforts.

Daily Weight Fluctuations.

Sneak preview of Day 22 – We’re moving into a new section of the book titled, “Responding to Sabotaging Thoughts” and the next seven days are devoted to that topic.  Day 22 specifically addresses dealing with disappointment.


Dec 30, 2009

Breakfast Cookie Update

If you missed the earlier Breakfast Cookie posts, see links below.



I didn't feel hungry until about 3 o'clock so it held me over well. 

2 hours after eating it my blood sugar was only 1.6 points higher than before eating it, also a success!

Day 20 - The Beck Diet Solution

I found my book!!!

It was hidden under my passenger seat in the car - it must have fallen out of my bag and then slid under, I don't know what made me look there but there it was!!! Thank Goodness!!! 

Day 20 focuses on something I learned very early on in Weight Watchers and something that is what I would call one of their core philosophies.

"Get back on track."

We're not perfect. We're not going to eat perfectly 100% of the time, every single day. The best laid know the rest.

Beck advises that the best way to deal with falling off track, either unplanned or overeating, is to get right back on track immediately. Don't wait til the end of the day, or the end of the week, or the end of the year.


One episode of overeating or unplanned eating won't ruin all the work you've done so far.  Continuous episodes will.  Start fresh.  Don't pretend it didn't happen, though. Look at it, analyse the whys and learn from it - then move on.

Make the next meal on track.

It took me about a year at WW to learn this and practice it and believe it. I do now. I know if I lose it for a meal or a day, all I need to do is plan my next meal to be on track.  In the beginning I was literally going meal to meal, then it stretched day to day and then I could go weeks at a time staying on plan.

It truly is all about determination and perseverance for me, not perfection.

This  is the perfect time of year for this message I think.  Let's put the Christmas feast behind us. If you're still in holiday eating mode and don't want to be - you don't have to be. You make the decision when to get back on track.

Make it now.

Breakfast Cookie Verdict

Thumbs up!

It was delicious, it was a little sticky, but I could break pieces off and eat it like a giant oatmeal cookie.  The combination of chocolate, coconut and almond butter was perfect. I am definitely going to make a week's worth and use them as a grab and go breakfast for myself and my teenage son who won't eat breakfast. I guarantee he will eat this!

Here's the promised picture on a side plate (not a dinner plate).  I put it in a plastic container overnight so I could cover it so it came out a nice shape moulded to the container. At first I thought it was going to stick and I wouldn't be able to get it out in one piece, but I just ran a knife under it and it eased out easily.  I may just put a piece of parchment paper under it next time though to avoid that.

The true test will be if it holds my appetite until lunch time - this combination was almost 400 calories so its definitely a "breakfast and snack" meal. I'll let you know.

Day 20 of Beck will be posted later today. I've misplaced my book and am at a bit of a loss, so I'm going to have to bite the bullet and buy a new one today. I see lots of bloggers now getting on the Beck train so I'm thrilled to have more people's views on it as I go through the book.

Dec 29, 2009

Breakfast Cookie

Jumping on Tiffany's bandwagon over at From 12 to 6, I decided to try making a breakfast cookie for tomorrow and I'll chime in and let you know how it tasted and if it gets me through til lunchtime!

The recipe is here.

This is how I made mine:

1/2 scoop vanilla whey powder
1 tbsp natural, organic almond butter
1/3 cup rolled oats
1/8 cup 1% milk
1 tbsp unsweetened shredded coconut
1 tsp semi sweet mini chocolate chips
1 tbsp chia seeds

Pics and review first thing tomorrow morning!!!!

Dec 28, 2009

Random catching up-ness!

Hello everyone!

It sounds like most of you had a wonderful Christmas and are looking forward to getting back on track towards exercise and eating less indulgently.  I am with you on that one!

We have one more get together next weekend on January 2nd but have no major plans for New Year's  Eve and will most likely stop in and watch DVDs with the kids.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I now have an iPod Touch and I am in love. I love gadgets and techy stuff so this is so perfect for me.  I made a decision before Christmas to cancel my WW online membership and to start counting calories as of January 1. My doctor is still convinced I am not eating enough calories and I was getting tired of keeping track of two systems and it was becoming cumbersome but I hadn't found a way to make calorie counting easy for me - I have now!!! on my Touch!   If this doesn't work for me, I'll just go back to counting points - I'm totally flexible.

I also downloaded the C25K program onto it as well. I am still not supposed to run because of arthritis in my knees and tailbone - but there is nothing stopping me from walking the program is there? I don't know why I didn't think of that before! I can certainly walk at a faster speed for the intervals instead of run and still get a better work out than just walking at one speed would give me so that's my new fitness goal for the next few weeks.

I am off work until January 4th and plan to enjoy the break from routine as much as possible.

OHHHHHHHH - the best news! I finally have my Diet Coach for the Beck program.  Well I now have two, one via email and one in my friend Shelley that I mentioned back in the Day 6 post. We finally got together for lunch today and she wants to focus on her health and fitness as well so she's going to read Beck and we're going to work this together and be each other's support. Great thing is, she lives in Oakville, about 20 min away from me so if our schedules can line up, I'm hoping we can work out a work out session every week to keep each other motivated. Will keep you posted on that one.

That's all for now folks, my turkey soup is wafting up the stairs and it smells delicious, off to eat!

Day 19 - The Beck Diet Solution

A bit of an interruption there because of the holidays and the craziness of the season but I am happy to be back on track with both Beck and myself!

I reported a 0.6 gain after Christmas Day, I'm happy to report that I am down 1lb from then - so I am considering Christmas Day a weight loss success.  Onward and downward from here and hoping to break 210 by January 1. Will keep you posted.

On to Beck!

Day 19 deals with "Fooling Yourself" or what I like to call "delusional dieting".

Any of this sound familiar?

  1.  I'll only eat one cookie.
  2. How bad can one cookie be?
  3. It's okay to eat this because I ate healthy all week.
  4. I deserve this because I ran that extra mile today.
  5. I deserve this because I had a crappy day.
  6. It won't matter if I eat this now, I'll eat a lighter dinner.
  7. and on and on and on!
I admit, I've had these thoughts and others before. Somehow we convince ourselves it's ok to eat something that is not going to further our weight loss efforts and then when we don't get the results we expected/wanted, we have forgotten all those times we did this and are truly confused as to why we're not succeeding as well as we thought.

This chapter was to reinforce two things - every bite counts - write it down and to continue to be diligent in ending uplanned eating.

Another really short chapter.

I am the proud owner of....

an iPod  Touch!

I am so all you techy bloggers out there...whats the best calorie counting/diet tracking app out there?

I've done a search and there are so many so I need some recommendations to try a couple.

Thanks...more later!

Dec 26, 2009

Merry Day After Christmas

Good Morning everyone!!

My house is still sleeping, I'm the only one up and after the hustle and bustle of yesterday, I am enjoying the peace and quiet!

We had a wonderful, family Christmas. I spoke to my two nieces in England on the phone (and my parents and brothers). My sister and husband and my MIL were here all day for dinner, food and lots of fun.  The boys were thrilled with their iPods.  The turkey was delicious and so was the rest of the food.

For the first time EVER, I did not overeat on Christmas Day. I had one plate of dinner - a bite or two of everything - even only had 2 of my beloved roasters (roast potatoes cooked in the turkey drippings) and a few Christmas cookies, 2 pieces of Pot of Gold and one jam tart later in the day.  We wrapped up and divided the leftovers amongst our three families.

I woke up this morning with the scale showing a .6 gain over yesterday morning. Seriously? That's all?  I'm so thrilled. I know that gain is mostly sodium and I'm not sweating it...well actually, I will be sweating it off later on the treadmill!  I have no plans for today except to hit the treadmill and put my house back together.  We are just staying in and relaxing. We have another Christmas dinner to go to tomorrow, but I am not the least bit worried now that I know I can conquer the meal and not the other way around!

And I will track that dinner so it fits into my points for the day/week as well. Yesterday was the only day I allowed myself to not track and just enjoy, now its right back to "normal".

I have to admit, that The Beck Diet Solution was a huge help to me this Christmas.  I read my cards in the morning, reinforcing why I want to lose weight and reminded myself that this is one day out of the rest of my life. Turkey, stuffing and roasters are not going to disappear, I can eat them any time I choose to cook them in moderate portions.  I reminded myself not to taste while cooking, which miraculously, I didn't do at all (and I am so thankful everything came out perfectly!) and I only ate the meal on my plate, I didn't nibble at leftovers as I put them away. I ate slowly, putting my fork down every now and again. The only thing I would say I fell down on was drinking water and I am feeling dehydrated this morning so lots of water on the menu for today and the coming days.

Regularly scheduled Beck updates will resume now that Christmas is over, with Day 19 to be posted tonight.

Dec 24, 2009

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to my blogging family.

Thank you for your unconditional support.


Dec 23, 2009

Day 18 - The Beck Diet Solution

I have to admit, Day 18 seemed a bit anti-climactic after Day 17's revelation.

On Day 18 Beck asks us to focus on not eating to the point overfullness.

The test she uses to determine overfullness is:  Could you take a brisk walk immediately after eating? If no, you're overfull, if yes, you're not and if you're not sure - then try it!

I think the next few days are going to focus on listening to our bodies.

This was another very short chapter and I really don't have anything to say, personally, about it, except that I am going to be very diligent about not getting overfull during the holiday meals.

Giving myself credit for:
1. Reading response cards 2 x.
2. Tracking everything I ate.
3. Not giving into workplace holiday treats.

Vitalicious Public Service Announcement

Received this today:

Dear VIP (Vitaliciously Important Person),

Vitalicious is heading to Costco and you are invited to join us!
A special 12-pack of our delicious and nutritious Deep Chocolate VitaTops is now available at select Costco stores near you!
Click here to find your nearest location. Look for our scrumptious, better-for-you baked goods in the Frozen Breakfast Section.

We hope to see you there!


Dec 21, 2009

Day 17 - The Beck Diet Solution

I found Day 17 really interesting and I actually did the exercise 3 times!

Day 17 continues to focus on controlling overeating.  Beck defines overeating in two ways:

      1. If you eat any food in a greater quantity than you had planned.
      2. If you feel full partway through your meal but continue to finish it anyway, leading to a feeling overfullness.
To be honest, I'm still struggling with her definition of "unplanned eating" and these new definitions left me with more to think about.  Black and white thinker that I am, I immediately thought,"So if I eat two plates of salad instead of one, I'm overeating?"  According to this definition, yes.

I had a few days to think about this since I was so busy over the weekend, it just mulled and turned over in my head and then last night, about midnight, as I tried to fall asleep, I had an A-HA moment.

This book is about behaviours, not food.  The food is not the problem. Salad or chocolate are the same if the behaviour is detrimental to my well-being.  Overeating anything is bad because it's a control issue that is detrimental to my weight loss plan and ultimately my health. This is a heady concept.  I never think of myself as an overeater. I mean, when I think of overeaters, I think of people who binge or just keep eating and eating or closet eaters. I can recognize some of the characteristics of bingeing behaviour in myself, and I probably have binged without realising it.  I have eaten to the point I feel stuffed like a Christmas turkey though and for no good reason except the food was there and tasted good.    But, obviously I didn't get to 250 lbs by NOT overeating, so this chapter was really important to me.  I felt like I was really understanding, for the first time, how my behaviour needs to change.

The exercise was eye-opening and I admit before I did it, I didn't think I would learn anything from it.  The exercise is to put more food on your plate than you planned for and then not eat it, only eat what you had planned to eat.

Now, when I eat in restaurants, I do this all the time. I rarely finish a full serving at a restaurant because I know they're huge and double, or triple what I would eat at home, so I divide my food in half, eat half the plate and either leave the rest or take it home for later. I do this all the time, it's routine now, I've been doing it for several years. 

When I eat at home, I measure / weigh my food and put it on my plate.  Now those of you reading this, who are cringing thinking of this process for each meal - it's not that bad!!! I have serving spoons in 1/2 cup and 1 cup sizes that I use on the table and I preweigh my meat before cooking it or if I'm at someone else's home, I guesstimate!  It's not a big "Oh Enza's dieting, she has to measure her food thing" - it fits naturally into my routine now and does not draw attention to myself or my plate!

So...most of the time I eat everything on my plate because it's what I planned on eating. If I eat more, it is usually salad or vegetables and then I count it and move on.

Now Beck wants me to put MORE on my plate?  So I did. I put double helpings of everything. My plate looked full!!  Even my sons said, "Mom, are you hungry???" but I just smiled and didn't say anything. I divided my plate just like I do at a restaurant and ate my half.  Then pushed my plate a few inches away and continued chatting.  As I sat there, I found myself - not once, but twice - pick up my fork and take another bite. Why? Because it was in front of me. I was satisfied, I wasn't full, I wasn't hungry. It was just there!  I ended up pushing the plate further away from me until I got up from the table else I am convinced I would have eaten the whole plate without even realizing it.  I tried the experiment two more times and each time, I had an urge to reach out and take another bite, these times though I was very conscious of how I was feeling and didn't actually follow through.

Everyone was else was still eating while I wasn't, yet I had food in front of me - it felt wrong to not eat it, even though usually my plate is empty and I don't feel like I am "deprived".  I am not sure what that means, but it was an eye opener to learn.  This is definitely an experiment I'm going to continue 2-3 times a week to see if I can gain more insight into my habits.

Journalling my food here in this blog, just isn't working for me, I already do it on WW online tracker and also a pen/paper journal - so doing it here is just extra work and duplication so I won't be doing that but I will note whether or not I managed to stick to my plan each day.

Giving myself credit for:
1. Reading my response cards 2 x each day over a crazy busy weekend.
2. Doing this experiment and learning something from it.
3. Lots and lots of spontaneous exercise by walking everywhere possible instead of driving, this weekend.

Dec 20, 2009

Updates of all kinds.

The last  few days have been all kinds of rough. I'm tired. I'm not sleeping properly, I'm not eating properly (undereating again - no appetite!) and I'm feeling the stress of the season and issues with my husband's health and fighting a cold.

Ok, so here I sit on Sunday night, my head stuffed up, throat sore and just not hungry. I ate half a bagel this morning and had to force that down. 

I need to get my blood work done again, last time I felt this way we had to lower my synthroid medication but I had lost about 15 lbs since the time before. This time, I've only lost about 10 lbs but I feel the same way. That may not be the issue, but it can't hurt to get it checked out.  I feel so tired, both sleepy tired and no energy, flat tired, you know?

I feel like I could just sleep around the clock, that is, IF I COULD sleep!

Day 17 of Beck was very interesting and has a neat exercise for the reader to try - but I'm going to keep you in suspense a little longer and won't post my notes on it until tomorrow, I'll work on it during lunch so it should be up by late afternoon.  I'm packing my breakfast/lunch for tomorrow so I'll have it with me and I'm making it light - soup, fruit and a soy milk smoothie - so I won't be tempted to not eat it because it's too heavy.

I still have so much to do for Christmas. None of the presents are wrapped. I still have stocking stuff to buy and all the groceries and the turkey!  We only have a regular size fridge/freezer so I can't buy the turkey and groceries too far ahead of time, the fridge is pretty full usually for a family of four.  We didn't put up a tree this year - no one seemed really interested and part of me felt like I should be the rallying cheer and pull us together and put it up and the other half thought F*ck It, you know?  I did put our stockings up and our family ornament so we are not completely unfestive. Truth be told, this house is so tiny,that putting up the tree requires rearranging all the living room furniture and it's a ton of work. I don't think any of us felt like doing the work - so I'm going to chalk it up to laziness more than a lack of Christmas spirit!

Now, I'm off to read the next day of Beck - I need to post 3 days worth reviews for you guys, but I promise to get back to at least one post a day as of tomorrow - and then to bed.

Dec 19, 2009

Busy Busy Busy

Good Morning,

I was busy all night last night and have a busy day ahead - but  I will catch you all up on Beck over the weekend, I promise!!!!

I think it's a huge help to be doing this at this time of year - it's really helping me keep my focus and resolve.

Hope you all have a great "before Christmas" weekend.


Dec 17, 2009

Day 16 - The Beck Diet Solution

Day 16 is about ending unplanned eating. 

She reminds the reader to use the craving conquering strategies (mindset and behavioural) and to make unplanned eating not an option.

She talks about the stress we put ourselves through when we eat something we didn't plan, and the stress of deciding whether or not to eat it and how that stress is relieved once we make a decision, so why not make the decision "to not eat anything unplanned".

This chapter is only 2 pages long and I think, in comparison to other chapters and the enormity of the topic, it's very simplistic.

I get the concept and I know from personal experience, it works. Only eat what you planned (and I broaden this definition not to include specific foods but the amount you are eating in terms of points, calories, meals whatever the "plan" is), i.e. stay on program, on plan, within your calories (whatever you want to call it) and if you have planned well, you will lose weight. 

Basically, she's saying "Just say no!" and practice, practice, practice.

Beck says to consider this a rule like other things we do in our life that we do not give ourselves a choice about, we just do it because we have to:

  • brushing our teeth every day
  • showering
  • going to work
  • paying bills
If we put unplanned eating, or sticking to our plan, on that list - then it's easier.

I made a response card that says,

"Eating outside my plan is not an option to be successful and lose weight."

I've added it to my other cards and will read 2-3 times a day.

What do you think about this? What do you do when faced with going off your plan?

Trying again, Thursday

Let's try this meal planning thing and see if I can manage to meal plan and then take the meals with me today.

Breakfast - 4/26   3/26
Apple - 1
Weight Control Instant Oatmeal - 3

Snack - 5/26  6/26
Silhouette Plus Yogurt - 1
2 cups mixed fresh fruit - 2

Lunch - 11/26
Chili Burrito - 5
Salsa - 0
Low Fat Sour Cream - 1
Soup - 3
Roll  - 2

Snack - 12/26
Silhouette Plus Yogurt - 1

Dinner - 21/26
Grilled haddock - 4
Roasted brussel sprouts - 1
Roasted potatoes - 4

Snack - 26/26
Vitatop - 1
2 cups of 1% milk - 4

Dec 16, 2009

Don't do as I do!

Today is the perfect example how NOT to follow Weight Watchers. Stay within points but eat crappy all day.  That is one of the downfalls of Weight Watchers, it's very easy to stay within the points but not eat well.  On the good side, I did meet the dairy requirements!  Nowhere close on the vegetables or lean protein though.  I don't consider today a success because I didn't meet the Good Health Guidelines.

I was unorganized today and it showed.

By the time I met my friends for dinner, I wasn't hungry at all and nothing at the coffee shop appealed to me. I love lattes anytime and its an easy way to get in milk so I had that and then shared a biscotti with my friend.  By 8:30 we were getting ready to leave and I realised I hadn't eaten and still wasn't hungry so I just came home. I'm still not hungry and I checked my blood sugar and it's fine so I'm not going to sweat it and just go to bed. I need to be up and at work early tomorrow morning to set up for a meeting.

I owe you a Beck update - I have read the next day but am too tired for a long post, so will do my  best to catch you all up tomorrow - it's an interesting chapter!

Giving myself credit for:

  1. Reading all my response cards.
  2. Recognizing that although I stayed within my WW points, I should have eaten better.
  3. Walking at lunch time.
I appreciated all the responses to my earlier comment about the scale. It's interesting how the opinions go from one extreme to the other. Seriously, I weigh most days and it's not an issue - I know my body goes up down up down and I only "count" my weigh in day - I saw 209 last Monday but I wasn't all excited because I knew it was just one day and until I've seen that number for 3-4 days, it's not "real", you know?   But I know it'll come back around :)

Hard-core Holidays!

The scale said 214 this morning.

No, I'm not going to  scream - it crossed my mind for a minute though, believe you me.  I know the fluctuations of daily weighing and really don't freak out day to day - and look at it week to week, so I'm aiming for a loss by Saturday - preferably from the 212 that I weighed on last Saturday.

Not sure if I'll get any planned exercise in today, depends how late I am out this evening, but I will park as far away as possible every time I go somewhere and go for a quick walk at lunch.

Today's eats:
(For some reason, it wouldn't copy and paste from the WW site)

Update: I realised around lunch time - that I forgot my lunch bag on the coffee table, so I 'm flying by the seat of my pants here today.

Carnation Instant Breakfast with 1% milk - 3 = 3/26

Apple - 1 = 4/26

Veggie Delight on a Flatbread Wrap (Subway) - 4 = 8/26
1 pkg Lays Baked potato chips - 2 = 10/26
Tim Hortons multigrain bagel with light cream cheese/tomatoes - 8 = 11/26

1 pkg Liptons Instant noodle soup - 1 = 9/26
Rice Crispy square - 2 = 13/26

Vanilla bean latte (skim milk) - 4 = 17/26
Biscotti - 4 = 21/26

Dec 15, 2009

Day 15 – The Beck Diet Solution

Day 15 is about monitoring your food, which I assumed when I read Day 14, but it didn’t actually say to do that – I was just going to do it because that’s what I do anyway, so Day 15 is kind of a bonus day for me.
Beck says that once you have a food plan, you have to monitor it to see if you stuck to it and if you didn’t, why not? Can we change our plans and still stay ON PLAN or do we get sidelined and lose focus and overeat?
I can honestly say I’ve gone both ways many times!
I’m not a fanatic about sticking to my plan – life happens. In a normal week, I stick to it pretty closely about 90% of the time, the weekend is when I tend to veer more, not so much overeat or eat unhealthily but not eat what I planned and I’m ok with that, I don’t think this journey is about being so regimented that there is no room for spontaneity. My main goal is to stay within my WW points and if I succeed at that but ate differently, then I still consider the day a success.
So as promised, here is today’s food plan and how it actually turned out.  I have not yet planned tomorrow’s meals but I will before the night is through and post it separately – I think it will be easier  to manage if I keep the food journals separate from these posts after today.
Before that though, giving myself credit for:
  1. Reading my response cards today.
  2. Turning down Quality Street today.
  3. Tracking everything I ate.
Planned food journal:
POINTS® Tracker entries

Tuesday, December 15, 2009
2/3 serving(s) 1% Milk

1  packet(s) Instant oatmeal weight control - cinnamon toast
1  serving(s) Arnolds Select Whole Wheat Sandwich Thins
1  small apple(s)
1  oz Light Cheddar Cheese - 75% Reduced Fat
9  nut(s) almonds
1  cup(s) cooked green beans
2 flour tortillas
1  fillet(s) cooked haddock fillet(s)
3 oz grilled chicken
1/2 cup(s) cooked white rice
1 oz cheese
1  container Oikos Honey Yogurt
Mary's Crackers (13) - Quick-added food
2 tbsp salsa - Quick-added food
2 homemade coconut macaroons
Food POINTS values total used
Food POINTS values remaining
20 minute brisk walk

Activity POINTS values earned

Fed up!

Ok, so I stepped on the scale this morning to see 213.2 lbs.

Now I've been hovering all over the place from 210 to 214 for the last three months - Sept, Oct and November. The last three months, I know my head wasn't in weight loss mode, it was in maintaining and doing my best just to cope. Lots of personal and professional issues had taken front and centre stage and I changed my focus from losing weight to just not regaining and it worked.

The last two weeks, since December 1,  I have been in weight loss mode - or so I thought. I am working hard, working out, eating diligently and I am not seeing results. I know sometimes the scale doesn't show hard work right away, but I need to break this cycle before I lose my motivation.

I know I'm doing about an 80/20 plan and it's gotten me this far. Now I need to up it. It's not working anymore. I need to break past this, I'm not calling it a plateau because I know the last few months I wasn't putting effort in, before it becomes my downfall.

Seems like a strange time of year to be hard-core? Nope. It's not. It's the perfect time because when (not if) this holiday season is over and I have come through it losing weight, I will know I can do this, that I will get to my goal, that I will continue to lose past the 210 lbs mark and beyond.

Not two minutes ago, a  co-worker offered me a box of Quality Street (my favourite, lots of fond memories of my Nana in England with that purple tin!) chocolate that she was given. I said "No thank you".  She put it out in our coffee area for everone instead. I am not going to have any.  I don't need chocolate right now. I need my resolve to break through the 210 lb barrier. 

I know I said my focus wasn't on weight loss it was on eating healthy, getting fit and maintaining my blood sugar and that is still true - but this is a mental thing for me - I haven't gotten past this barrier in so long. It's the barrier I give up at. I am not giving up this time and the only way to prove that to myself is to blast through it.

Stay tuned.

Dec 14, 2009

Day 14 - The Beck Diet Solution

Edited: I forgot again to give myself credit for what I did today!! This is the hardest habit, yet, to form.

1. Realised I was making poor choices because my blood sugar was low and turned it around by eating a healthy lunch.
2. Drank lots of water.
3. Fit in both planned and spontaneous exercise.

Day 14 talks about planning and writing down your food plan.

As part of WW, I've been doing this all along. What I normally do is plan my meals for Monday-Friday and put the information into the WW online tracker and my daily journal.  If I eat something extra, or don't eat something on my plan, I make adjustments to the online tracker and mark up my journal. It only takes a few minutes each evening or first thing in the morning and makes eating all day easier.  Sometimes I leave lunch or dinner intentionally blank if I don't know what I'm having, but having the rest of the day filled in, lets me know how many points I have for that meal, so it narrows down my choices and makes it easier to choose something.

Saturday and Sunday, I normally fly a little more casually and I track as I go through the day. Usually the dinners are planned but not breakfast/lunch or snacks. This still works well.

I'm not perfect. Sometimes I don't journal or track for a few days but I know when I don't, I have no idea what or how much I'm eating. I tell myself I am keeping track in my head and I am, till about lunchtime then I forget, or lose track, or overeat and don't want to face it.

Tracking every day is a huge part of why I've been successful so far. I know some people don't believe in it, and some people think it's a waste of time and some people think it's not "real life". Truthfully, I don't care what other people think - it works for me and this is my journey, not someone else's.

So in keeping with the "doing" part of The Beck Diet Solution, I'll post my food plan each day with the Beck posts and then the next day post the "revised" one, if relevant.  It will also keep me focused on doing it every day without fail - at least from now until the end of the book!

The easiest way for me to do this is just cut and paste from the Weight Watchers online tracker.  Based on this I have 6 points left for the day, but I haven't entered an evening snack or cream/milk for my coffee/tea. I'll enter that as the day goes by and that normally takes up the remaining points.

POINTS® Tracker entries

Tuesday, December 15, 2009
2/3 serving(s) 1% Milk
1  packet(s) Instant oatmeal weight control - cinnamon toast
1  serving(s) Arnolds Select Whole Wheat Sandwich Thins
1  small apple(s)
1  oz Light Cheddar Cheese - 75% Reduced Fat
9  nut(s) almonds
1  cup(s) cooked green beans
1  fillet(s) cooked haddock fillet(s)
1/2 cup(s) cooked white rice
1  container Oikos Vanilla
Mary's Crackers (13) - Quick-added food
2 tbsp salsa - Quick-added food
Food POINTS values total used
Food POINTS values remaining
No entries for exercise.

Activity POINTS values earned
Check off these important items daily:
Milk & Milk Products
Fruit & Vegetables

Healthy Oil
Lean Protein
Whole Grains

Rushing around

I went to bed really early last night and slept right through til 8:30 this morning.  Sounds good?

Not so much. I had to have Iain at the dentist by 9:00 to have his wisdom teeth removed.  I threw on some sweats, splashed water on my face, ran my fingers through my hair (didn't even brush my teeth!), coaxed him out of bed, coaxed his brother out of bed and out the door to get to school on time, and rushed to the dentist's office.

The extractions were really quick and he was feeling ok when he woke up. I brought him home and left him with Den to go and get him some "soft" foods. When I came back, the freezing had wore off and the Tylenol 3 didn't seem to be helping. He was in major pain.  I gave him some ice packs and he said that didn't help so I gave him another T3 about half an hour early and it seems to have taken the edge off for now. I know from past experience he has a really low pain threshhold and this is first time EVER having any kind of major pain so it's a bit of a shock for him.

I am sure the next few days are going to be rough for all of us!

As I was waiting for Iain to come out of the surgery, my blood sugar dropped. I felt so ill, I honestly thought I was going to pass out. At first, I couldn't figure out what was wrong and then I remembered that in my rush to leave the house I did not eat anything and it was well over 15 hours since I'd last eaten.  I bought a bottle of apple juice at the pharmacy and that helped almost immediately.  So today has not been a good eating day so far - apple juice, an order of fries and half a cookie.  I am working on making lunch right now so I am turning it around with this meal!

Day 13 - The Beck Diet Solution

In Day 13 Beck addresses conquering cravings with an exercise to measure the intensity of cravings, some mindset techniques and some behavioural techniques.

I found this chapter really interesting because she doesn't recommend giving in. Her plan of attack is to conquer the craving completely and to practice this, like any skill, so that eventually it will become easier and easier.

Personally, I've found that when I am eating properly, sleeping enough and doing some kind of exercise regularly, the cravings are virtually non - existent and those I do have are so mild that they are easily conquered by distracting myself.

Here's a quick overview of the anti-craving strategies she suggests:

Mindset Techniques 
  1. Label it. Decide this is a craving and its not an emergency.
  2. Stand firm. Remind yourself you want to practice not giving in to cravings.
  3. Don't give yourself a choice. Giving in and eating what you're craving is not an option.
  4. Imagine the aftermath of giving in. Remind yourself how you have felt every other time you've given in to a craving, the feeling of loss of control, the feeling of self-sabotage, the feeling of weakness. Remind yourself how terrible it felt.
  5. Remind yourself why you want to learn to withstand cravings. Pull out the response cards and read them and remind yourself what is more important, this "food" or your ultimate goals.
I've never tried anything like this before, so I've printed this out on yet another card and will try it next time a craving hits.

If the mindset technique doesn't work, then she recommends trying the following:

Behavioural Techniques
  1. Distance yourself from the food you crave.  Move the food out of sight or get rid of it.
  2. Drink a no calorie or low calorie beverage.  Sometimes thirst feels like hunger and sets off a trigger to eat.
  3. Relax. Focus on breathing slowly or other meditation techiques.
  4. Distract yourself. Go for a walk, read a book, do your nails, do a craft, brush your teeth...etc.
Number 4 is usually my "go to" and works most of the time.

So, how do you fight cravings when they hit or how do you avoid them hitting at all? I think Beck's plan to conquer the craving looks great on paper but like she says, will take alot of practice to make a reality, but I'm up for a challenge so like I said, I'll give it a shot next time a craving hits and the time after that and after that - until I get it right!

Dec 13, 2009

Sinking Sunday

It's only 6 p.m. and I am fading fast.

After posting this morning, I did some housework, read for a bit and then felt so tired so I lay down on the couch, curled up in a blanket. I woke up several times, alternately sweating and freezing. I had the strangest dreams.

Then I got up had some crackers and water and came to bed for an hour. I slept like the dead. I got up a bit ago, threw together some dinner and am waiting for it to finish in the oven and then I am going to bed. My ears/throat are sore and I still feel hot/cold.

Sorry guys, Beck will have to wait - I'm just not up to it tonight.

Funky Sunday

There seems to be an "air" in blogland the last few days of people in a funk, feeling down and struggling with balance and energy in their lives.

I had a day like that yesterday too, I think it's the time of year, the weather, the shorter days......the universe working against me ..... who knows?

I'm glad I'm over it today.

I ended up having a nice evening, despite a down day. We went to my sister's and she made a delicious, traditional Italian meal and we spent hours around the table eating, talking, laughing (not eating for hours, you know what I mean!) and it reminded what this time of year is really all about.  Thanks Louisa!

This year has been challenging, the last few months have been nightmarishly so. Every time I thought I had one problem licked, 2 more would come along. It's been hard to focus on everything and there are days I ended up focusing on nothing at all.

But I wake up each day (thank you, Universe) and set out to try again to make this day the best it can be.

Thats what I think balance is. I don't think it's trying to do everything equally well every day, I think it's a longer term thing. Sometimes the kids are more important, sometimes I am, sometimes work is, sometimes paying the bills is - but in the end - to make sure it all balances out and I'm expending most of my energy in the right places (family and me), the blips that come along aren't so important.  I'm not sure I'm being clear and even as I re-read this post, I realise it doesn't make much sense - but it helped me to feel better this morning and that's the most important thing.

Day 13 of The Beck Diet Solution will be up later tonight - I am still organizing my thoughts around it. So...stay tuned.

Dec 12, 2009

Day 12 – The Beck Diet Solution


imageDay 12 ties closely with Day 11.

Beck asks the reader to do an experiment to experience and tolerate hunger. The point is for the reader to realise that nothing bad will happen if we forestall eating when we are hungry. We are not going to starve to death if we have to wait a few hours to eat.

She warns not do this experiment if you have a medical condition.

I have Type II diabetes. Not eating for more than 5 hours or so will make me physically ill. It will mean eating or drinking something to bring my blood sugar up quickly. It will mean feeling uncomfortable, out of sorts, ill-tempered and miserable for several hours while my blood sugar regulates itself. I am not insulin dependent – so it’s not a life or death thing for me – but it is definitely not something I’m going to do as an “experiment”. I’ve done it enough times accidentally to know the outcome. Often, I feel the effects of low blood sugar (short temper, light headed, nauseated, weak) before I feel hunger.

I think I understand the reasoning behind the experiment, and Marisa at Loser for Life wrote about this very concept in a recent post and did an excellent job. I think she explains it better than Beck did so, if you’re interested, please head on over and read her post.

I realised that the last two posts I didn’t give myself credit. It is so easy to forget to do it!

So over the last few days, I’m giving myself credit for:

  1. Tracking everything I ate.
  2. Remembering to take all my vitamins/meds.
  3. Reading The Beck Diet Solution every day.
  4. Spontaneous exercise for the last two days.

Dec 11, 2009

Day 11 – The Beck Diet Solution


Hungry, Craving or just Wanting?

Day 11 addresses learning the differences in why we eat.

Are we hungry?

Are we craving something?

Are we just wanting to eat?

This was a really well-written chapter and Beck does an excellent job of explaining the differences. Rather than paraphrase her, I’ll tell you how I distinguish between the three, personally. 

In the book, there is a chart and exercise for the reader to spend one day learning the differences and learning how to read their body. I have to say, it took me a lot longer than one day to “get it” but one day is a good place to start.

First, let me tell you that I first did WW back in 1995 and that was when I learned the difference and it made a world of difference in my success and my outlook towards “losing weight”.  I am still learning the WHY behind the craving and the wanting – but knowing the difference has stopped me dead in my tracks and saved millions of chocolate bars and litres of ice cream from premature consumption.

Hunger – My stomach feels empty, it’s growling or rumbling. I have a slight headache and if I let it go too far, I feel like I’m going to throw up (keep in mind I have Type II diabetes, so hunger often goes with low blood sugar). I want to eat a meal, not a snack, not finger food, not junk food – real, healthy, delicious food.

Craving – I want a specific food. No other food will do. I will go out and drive to get that specific food if I am craving it. Midnight? No worries, there’s a 24 hour grocery less than 10 minutes away. Pouring rain? No worries, I’ll drive.  I am not happy until I have that specific food. Oh, I may try and eat my way around it.  I want a chocolate bar, so I’ll try a sugar free hot chocolate, a chocolate covered pretzel, some yogurt, one (or two or three or four) cookies, a glass of chocolate milk.  In the end, I still want the chocolate bar and I will probably GET the chocolate bar and I’ve eaten way more calories avoiding it, than I would have if I had just eaten the damn thing in the first place. Now, if I have a craving – I know in time it will go away.  I have to distract myself from the craving – read a book, go for a drive – DO something. I do still give in, but I have what I’m craving in a controlled portion (1 regular chocolate bar and not a family pack, a single serve of ice cream rather than buy a litre etc.), enjoy it, track it and put it behind me.

Want to eat – I stand with the fridge or pantry open.  Not sure what I want. Nothing looks good. Nothing looks appetizing. Yet…I want “something”.  When this happens, I know I’m not hungry – I know I want something.  Food isn’t it. Food is what I’m using to avoid what the real problem is. A great phrase I learned early in WW, “If hunger isn’t the problem, food isn’t the solution.”  I don’t always figure out what it is I really want (like I said, I don’t have all the answers!) but I can almost always, now, stop myself from trying to find out by eating.

Of course, I still eat delicious, unhealthy food because I want to. I do my best to fit it into regular meal times so I’m not doubling up on meals. I love Italian food, ice cream, mashed potatoes and gravy, chocolate cake – but I have learned that it’s ok to want to eat food just because it tastes good. The trick is that it is not ok to overeat and it has to it fit into a healthy, balanced lifestyle. The other big thing I’ve learned – food isn’t going anywhere. I can have chocolate, cake, pizza – any time! I don’t need to eat it all today.

I’m still learning. Every day is a new adventure. I’m getting there though.

Christmas is coming!

 This is my favourite Christmas decoration :)

Wasn't it just Friday?

 I am loving Fridays lately.

Today is a short day at work as our corporate Christmas party is tonight so everyone is allowed to leave at noon to go home and get pretty for the party. I'm not going to the party, but I am going to spend the afternoon running errands: returns/exchanges, groceries, picking up prescriptions. Then go home and make a nice dinner for us and then start wrapping presents and maybe get the tree up tonight or tomorrow.

Looking over my WW food journals this week, I can see I've not been eating enough vegetables or protein. Lots of carbs. Lots of "white" and I am feeling lethargic and "heavy".  So I need to make sure I turn that around today and eat lots of veggies and protein. I've done amazing with caffeine though, I'm down to 1 or 2 cups of coffee a day and only 1 can of Diet Pepsi. This is a huge improvement from just a few weeks ago.  I did it gradually so caffeine withdrawal wasn't a problem.

Off to read blogs...and some work :)

Day 10 – The Beck Diet Solution

Day 10 is about setting a goal.

It's that time of year too, isn't it? Blogland is full of talk about setting goals and not setting goals for the holiday season and New Year.

I am in a weird position with goals. In every aspect of my life, except weight loss/fitness, I set goals, I make plans and I follow through and I am successful. I meet, and quite frequently, exceed my goals.  I have achieved a lot in my life and I'm proud of so many things. Yet, when I set goals for weight loss or fitness - it's like I freeze, or my  mind works against me - or planets are out of alignment or something! I seem to do worse when I have a goal. I put plans in place and then don't follow through consistently. I don't meet the goal and then I'm disappointed and angry with myself - which is so counterproductive to this whole process.

Beck talks about this happening when people set goals that are too long term or unachievable. Is that what I'm doing?

I don't think so - what I am doing isn't working though - so clearly - in the goals department I am doing something wrong!

There was an interesting comment in response to the Day 9 post and I'm copying it here, because when I read it this morning, it seemed to come at just the right time.
Dayne Gingrich said...
Great great post... and a challenge that MANY deal with every single day.It's all about this day, this moment. Take action every day, no matter how small. As you said, "just move more every day..." That's all that's needed to succeed in the long term. Your action doesn't have to make the Earth stop spinning... it doesn't have to be life changing now, but by taking a tiny bit every day, it definitely WILL be in the future.We all get wrapped up in having to do it all right now, which puts excess pressure on us, eventually leading to fear, and unfortunately quitting. Try this: Write what your motivation is for wanting to lose the weight. Put it somewhere you'll read every day... and just let the action take care of itself. Fill you mind and soul full of your MOTIVATION, rather than goals, and watch the improvement. "Goals" make us feel fear ~ fear of failure, mostly. Motivations make us feel positive about what we want.The word, alone, isn't threatening at all... unlike goals. What's your motivation? Focus on it, see yourself reaching that motivation, and feel the emotions that come from reaching them. Let the day to day stuff just... be.Good luck. Have fun. Remember, creating a "new you" should be fun, yeah?Dayne
Back to Beck for a moment, she suggests setting goals of 5 lbs at a time and when that is done, set another 5 lb goal and going against the whole theory of SMART goals, she does not recommend setting a time limit.  She says not to focus on the end goal weight but just these 5 lbs at a time.  She does recommend small rewards at each 5 lb goal.

What has worked for me in the past, is not to focus so much on the weight loss and the scale, but to focus on eating properly, keeping my blood sugar level and moving every day - if I do those things - the side effect will be weight loss. This is how I started this journey and it worked - when I lose sight of that is when I struggle. When I start to put focus on the scale and whether I lost 1 lbs or 2 lbs this week - then my behaviours and my head start to sabotage me.

It seems an odd position to be in, but I think recognizing it is half the battle. Even though I don't have the answers to fix it - I think I'm stronger because I can recognize when I'm "losing it" and turn it around almost immediately now, rather than go days and days of sabotaging behaviour and undoing all the good work I'd done.

Dec 10, 2009

Day 9 - The Beck Diet Solution

Early with this posting today as I read the chapter this morning when I first woke up because I knew I'd be busy tonight and might not get to it.

I laughed out loud when I read the title of Day 9 - Select An Exercise Plan.

Why did I laugh?

I can select an exercise plan. I have done that - many times. Selecting an exercise plan is not a problem. Doing an exercise plan is the problem!

Beck addresses the doing part as well as the selecting part and it goes back to Day 8 - planning and making time for what's important.  She also addresses unrealistic expectations and that the reason most people fail because they want to be an athlete from Day 1 or expect to see amazing results within just a few days. It also goes back to giving myself credit when I do exercise, even if it doesn't meet my expectations, even if it's not as much as other people do.

Exercise is a game for the patient and the persistent. Every little bit adds up. Every little bit works towards weight loss, stronger muscles and a healthier heart. These changes won't appear within a few days or even weeks, but they will if you keep at it. If you stop - then nothing happens - or things get worse.

Yes - I know all that in my head.  I still hate exercise. There are a million other things I would rather do. The only exercise I have ever stuck with consistently is walking on the treadmill (or outside in the Fall/Spring) and aquafit and even those I have bouts of gung-ho and bouts of nothing.  It's only in the last few months that I've been consistent and exercised 3-5 x a week. I know if I exercise more, I would see better and faster results. 

I've tried the JUST DO IT approach, and it works for awhile, til I just don't do it and fall off the exercise wagon and then get run over as it passes me by.

Beck suggests having two plans of attack. Spontaneous and planned exercise. She describes spontaneous exercise as moving more in every day situations. Some examples I came up with: taking the stairs instead of elevator, getting off the bus a few stops early, using a manual lawnmower instead of gas or electric,  parking in a further spot from the building and going up and down the stairs at home as much as possible instead of carrying it all in one trip.  Planned exercise is scheduling time for a specific activity: hiking, walking, playing sports or going to the gym. 

I make plans, I have time. I just don't like it. 

Now, I do lots of other things in my life I don't like and I just cowboy up (I love that expression!) and do it because I have to.  But....exercise? It's like a mental block.  It is one I need to blast away, climb over, obliterate - but how?  Still working on that one. 

What seems to work best for me is taking one day at a time. Wake up each morning and tell myself I will move more TODAY.  And then I find a way to fit it in, sometimes it's walking on the treadmill, sometimes it's going for a walk at lunch, sometimes it's parking my car as far from the mall as possible, sometimes I just go up down the stairs at home for 20 minutes while I'm waiting for dinner to cook.  This works for me. I still want my Y membership cause I know I would go to aquafit regularly and I'm still working on fitting that into my recently overloaded budget.  In the meantime, I do something every day.

I made another card for me to read every day.

Exercise is part of a healthy lifestyle. Every minute adds up and contributes to a healthier me.  Move more today.

Taking credit for:

  1. Reading Chapter 9 first thing this morning so I wouldn't miss a day.
  2. Planning meals for today.
  3. Moving more today.

Dec 9, 2009


We did wake up to some snow this morning, but by the time I was driving into work it was mostly freezing rain and drizzle.  The highways and roads were fine. I did see some accidents along the way, I think people were just following too closely. The roads were wet and slick with slush, so stopping needed more time and distance.

When I left downtown Toronto this afternoon, there was no snow, just some heavy rain. Coming into Mississauga and around my house, there is about 2-3 inches of snow – not as bad as was predicted for this area.  I just want a white Christmas :)

I got some crappy news at work today (about work) that really pissed me off and fuelled my motivation to start job hunting sooner rather than later so that is going to be my project for the next little while.

Any of you in the GTA know someone who needs a great Corporate Trainer?  Let me know!

My weight loss/healthy living stuff is going well. The Beck Diet Solution is really making me think about a lot of things that I had taken for granted and reminding me why I am doing this on on a daily basis and I love the comments I am getting from other bloggers – very thought provoking!

My body is definitely changing as well. Today I had three slices of pizza, cheese and veggies, from a national pizza chain and I felt so sick afterwards. Not full-sick, because they were small slices – but heavy, bloated, UCK sick, you know?  The food just felt like concrete sitting in my stomach.  Part of that may have been the reaction to the news I was given as well – but I spent all afternoon feeling like a ton of bricks was in my stomach. It’s a little better now – chamomile tea works wonders! There was a time I could eat a whole small pizza, wash it down with a couple of cans of diet coke and follow it with chips and dip.

I am weighing in every day and seeing my usual…2 days down, 2 day up, 2 days the same, 1 days down….so hopefully by Saturday I will see a down for my WW recording weight.  The ups and downs are variations of 0-2 lbs usually and I know, for me anyway, are totally normal. It’s always exciting to see a new low number – even if it doesn’t register on my official day – I know I saw that number and it will be back eventually!

Day 8 – The Beck Diet Solution


Week 1 is over folks! How easy was that?

I didn’t get to talk to Shelley about the diet coach – I had to cancel our coffee date because of some issues at home so I’m still flying solo here – but it is something I want to explore, so I’m not forgetting about it and I will keep you posted.

Day 8 focuses on planning and creating time for dieting.

This is something I do all the time. My personal motto is, “Fail to plan, plan to fail”. I guarantee you, if I do not plan my meals (especially during the work week), I will eat whatever is handy and that is not usually what is healthy or balanced!  If I don’t make a plan to exercise – I won’t do it. I need to plan, be organized and then do it. If I don’t pack my lunch/snacks before bed for the next day, it won’t get done. No matter how good my intentions are to do it in the morning, my experience has proved time and time again – I won’t do it! 

Flying by the seat of my pants does not work for me with weight loss and exercise.

This chapter was a good reminder though that it’s normal for this process to feel like work and sometimes extra work that I don’t feel like doing.  When that happens, I have to review my response cards and remember why I’m doing this and decide is my ultimate goal more important than a minor inconvenience?

I am reading my response cards 2-3 x a day now and it has become a habit, as soon as I pull out my blood sugar monitor, I see them and read them. Some days I give the sentences more thought than others.

I am really enjoying giving myself credit every day. It is so easy to think of a dozen things I did wrong today without hesitation that I overlook what I did right.  Making my little list is getting easier and I am recognizing more and more that every small thing I do is a success and in some ways, outweighs, the things I did wrong.

I wrote another response card for myself.

“It’s ok to think that planning and organizing to lose weight is a lot of work. It IS a lot of work. I’m worth it. My goals are more important than being inconvenienced now and again.”

Today I’m taking credit for:

1. Reading my cards.

2. Tracking everything I ate.

3. Meal planning for tomorrow.

Dec 8, 2009

The Biggest Loser

It was so great to see how far everyone had come and especially validating to see those who had been at home the longest, still plugging along, certainly not with the huge "ranch" losses, but with consistent steady losses as they worked at their healthy lifestyles.

I was cheering for all of them. Really, they are all winners.

I am looking forward to seeing how Shay does in the next 6 months and see her when she returns to the Season 9 finale in May.

I have my own personal goal for the January 5 season opener, I want to be able to walk on the treadmill and watch the show - so that means either putting a tv in our bedroom where the treadmill is (I've never had a tv in our bedroom in 21 years of marriage!)  or moving the treadmill to where the tv is.  Luckily I have a month to figure it out!

Snow expected tonight so tomorrow's drive is going to be interesting to say the least. Every year, the 'first' snowfall is the worst, it's like people forget what snow is over our short summer!

I also want to thank you all for the great feedback, advice, opinions, thoughts and general comments regarding The Beck Diet Solution, I'm thrilled it's opening up so much conversation and thinking.

I read Day 8 tonight and will post about it tomorrow.

Day 7 – The Beck Diet Solution


Day 7 addresses managing your environment to make dieting easier.  Beck suggests doing a pantry and fridge clean out and getting rid of triggers and temptations. She also suggests some techniques for dealing with food in the workplace.

To a degree, I agree with her that removing temptations and triggers makes dieting easier, especially in the beginning. On the other hand, we can’t always control our environment and I think it would be smarter to learn how to deal with the temptations and triggers rather than try to control our environment and the people around us all the time (of course, she may address this later her in book and this is meant to be a preliminary step to make starting the diet easier).  I admit I do have some triggers, for some foods, it is easier to have NONE than to have one bite, or one piece and then try to stop.  I still have them in the house though because my sons and husband don’t have issues with these foods and although they are not the best foods for them to eat – they are occasional treats for them and they have no issues with control around these foods.

Since I’ve been working on this diet/lifestyle thing since February, I’ve pretty much got my fridge and pantry under control. I buy my own treats in single portions and measure/weigh out others as I eat them. At work, I have come up with my own strategies for avoiding doughnuts, chocolate and cookies – sometimes I am more successful than others – but I am more comfortable finding my own way than trying to rearrange and control my environment completely.

I made a new response card based a little on Beck’s suggestion, but modified to suit my needs:

“Once I make changes in how I react to food temptations and triggers at work, home and with friends, dieting will be easier.”

I’ll add this card to my others and read each day.

Giving myself credit for:

1. Tracking everything I ate today, even though I didn’t make the healthiest choices.

2. Sticking to two cups of coffee during a very stressful day.

3. Only eating while sitting down.

I haven’t asked my friend Shelley about the Diet Coach thing yet, I will be seeing her tomorrow after work for coffee and will ask her then. 

Dec 7, 2009

Day 6 - The Beck Diet Solution

On Day 6 Beck talks about having a "Diet Coach"; someone to turn to when I'm struggling and someone who can give me a fresh perspective on things when I seem to be stuck.

Funnily enough, all the reasons I came up with for not wanting one, she addresses in her self-sabotage paragraph. Is it really self-sabotage to not want a Diet Coach? I have been thinking about this since last night and I am still in two minds.

Beck does recommend using an internet community if there is no one in real life to turn to and I do have this blogging community and the Weight Watchers Online community, so do I need a real life, person to person Diet Coach?  To be honest, I don't really use the online communities for crisis management. I get incredible inspiration and great ideas from reading blogs and I love the support I get through comments left on my posts, but I don't know if I share enough with this type of community to get feedback that is really going to help me...after all, you all only know what I choose to tell you right?

Having someone real life may be a huge help, someone who knows my personal situation and loves me and wants what is best for me.

I've decided to ask my friend Shelley if she will be my Diet Coach.  I know she loves me and would do anything in her power to help me, she also has Type II diabetes so she understands that part of my struggle, she knows my home life and personality, and she struggles with her own weight issues so she can definitely relate to what I'm going through.

If she chooses not to , then I will rethink this.

Today I'm giving myself credit for:

  1. Thinking through this Diet Coach thing and not just dismissing it right away which was my first response.
  2. Eating sitting down, slowly and mindfully.
  3. Tracking everything today.
  4. Reading my response cards.

Snow In The City

It's snowing in downtown Toronto!

Just really light flurries, but still...our first snowfall!  Now it feels like Christmas.

Anyone have a surefire way to win the lottery?  Three weeks before Christmas and I need new tires, Iain has to have his wisdom teeth out and we have Den's driver's assessment to pay for.

I'm not greedy, I don't need millions -  just a few thousand.  It never rains but it pours, huh?

Just more challenges to get through...lucky me!

I did read Day 6 of The Beck Diet Solution and need to do some thinking about it before I make a post, so it may not be tonight, but definitely tomorrow or the next day - so bear with me.

Not much else going on in my corner of the world, I watched Angels and Demons last night and actually really liked it, much more so than The DaVinci Code, although I did enjoy the A&D book more than DaVinci Code as well, so I guess that makes sense. 

Plans for tonight: rework my budget to fit in all of the above, cook dinner, do laundry, think on The Beck Diet Solution....sleep!!!

I didn't get to the Y over the weekend, I just had so much running around to do and the one time I drove by, it was so busy there...and now with all these unexpected extra expenses (really Iain's teeth is the big one!) I am not sure I can swing it  :(  I'll have to crunch some numbers and see. 

My friend has a gym and pool in her condo building that she said I am welcome to use any time, the problem is that she lives in the east end of Toronto and I live in Mississauga - so its not really convenient and I will end up paying a fortune in gas driving back and forth.