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Jul 16, 2010

Waiting for limbo to end.

Hi everyone!!!

Thank you so much for all your supportive comments and emails the last few weeks.

The "perfect" apartment didn't work out so well, long story - but I had to start looking elsewhere. I ended up in Hamilton and found an apartment on the Mountain. It's clean, good size and definitely a good price and a gorgeous view down the mountain side. I fell in love with it immediately, we were approved practically instantly and are all set to move in September 1. What a relief! I cannot tell you how stressed I've been worrying about where we were going to live.

I've already started purging, sorting and packing but am nowhere near done! So much more to do but I feel like I want to do it now that I know my next step.

Why Hamilton? To be truthful, this was a hard decision to come to and I've had two major panic attacks yesterday while trying to decide and I must have changed my mind a dozen times over the 6  hours.  Firstly, the rent and living expenses are about 75% less than in Mississauga and significantly less than in Toronto. I have some good friends in Hamilton that are an amazing support network for me as well as in west Oakville and since my sister moved out to Oshawa, I have been feeling a bit adrift on my own.  There is an amazing alternative school program in Hamilton for my eldest son, Iain, better than the one that Peel has and I think this will have a positive effect on his future. Hamilton is also a much smaller city and has a different feel than the urban craziness of Toronto and the suburban sprawl of Mississauga.

My commute is not going to be pretty, I work up by Toronto airport. My long term goal is find a position in Oakville/Burlington/Hamilton to be closer to home and then to buy a house in Hamilton. Housing prices are much more affordable for me there than they would be here, especially on  one income.

The rest of my life? Work is going well.

Weight loss really has not been my focus and really, it has to be constantly in the forefront of my mind for me to be successful. Somehow, I am maintaining and not regaining - but I am really not putting any effort into it and am just skating by. I am so hoping that when I am out of this limbo I feel I am in, i.e. settled in our new home and new life and new routines that I can refocus on my weight loss goals and keep this going. I wish I could juggle everything but you know what...it just ain't working for me.

Jul 7, 2010

Where am I?

Hanging in, still.

Taking one day at a time. Life is full of challenges right now and I'm trying to deal with them head on and it's not always pretty! Some days are not so good, some are amazing...and most are just dealing with the every day stuff, you know?

I did join the gym at my workplace today and will start tomorrow. I'm hoping that just having it here and having people to go with will jump start my motivation. Of course I get to do the lovely Fitness Assessment where they get to tell me how much weight I need to lose and how to do it...I'll keep you posted on that one.

In terms of eating, I'm not doing so great. I am not overeating in terms of volume of food, but I am not eating healthy, or I am - but very rarely.  I think I may have wandered towards the produce aisle about a week ago but then got scared and ran away. I think the carrots were going to chase me but they tripped over the bags of potatoes piled on the skids.

In other areas of my life, I'm just trying to be organized and sort stuff out. I found an amazing apartment but I am waiting to hear if we got it - hopefully by Friday, that would be a great way to start the weekend. There is alot to do in terms of packing and sorting and purging that should keep me distracted for the next few weeks.

It's been way, way hot in the GTA this week and we don't have A/C so sleeping has been even more problematic than usual and I am feeling my nerves on edge and my stress level escalate every night that I don't sleep enough.

My new job is great - I'm really happy in it.

Mostly I feel like my life is in limbo and won't really "start" until we're in our own place in September.