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Jun 15, 2017

Last Day...I hope!

Today is my last day of craziness at work. 6 meetings tonight from 5 pm to 9 pm then meetings drop to one a month until September/October. Thank God. I am so tired.

I still cannot shake this cold/sore throat/sinus issue and I am wondering now if it's allergies as it's been over 6 weeks. I will try and get to my doctor next week. 

I had an awesome time in Pennsylvania visiting my friends and we ate out every meal...which I knew we would. I started off making great choices, by the fourth day, not so great choices.  I ate about a quarter of that giant sundae in the photo below. It was a place that hand churned the ice cream and it was whip cream made from cream from a local dairy and you know what? It tasted fantastic. I am not sure if it's because of those things or because it's been a long time since I ate something like that. But it was a treat and definitely one worth it!

The drive was glorious. Everything was SO green. It reminded me so much of where I used to live in England. I've only ever been in the Fall before.

The gym in the hotel was under renovations (which they failed to tell me when I called on Thursday to confirm they had a treadmill and a bike) - and unfortunately the friends I was visiting are not active at all and  I didn't know the neighbourhood or feel safe enough to hit the trails on my own....plus I didn't want to take time away from my visit as they had planned a lot of activities for us.

We saw a local theatre production, went to a bunch of garage sales, saw Wonder Woman and did an Escape Room.  In between, we ate! Not even joking a little bit. Despite the food overload,  it was a great break from real life.

I weighed myself on Tuesday morning (my first morning back at home) and the scale said 172.6 lbs.  I wish I had taken a picture of it! I put in a new battery and it still said 172.6 lbs. Then I moved it to another place (I have tape on the floor so it's always in the same spot) and it said 212 lbs. Now I am sure I gained weight while away. My weight on the Friday morning I left was 182.3 lbs so I know I didn't lose 10lbs and I know for sure I didn't gain 30.....so it's time for a new scale I think. This one has to be at least 10 years old, it was a $19.99 WW scale from Costco. 


My clothes fit OK but I don't think I would notice a 3-5 lb gain in my clothes since most of them are fitting pretty loose.  That's this weekend's mission - find a new scale.  Any suggestions?

I go to the Diabetic Clinic at the end of June so I can check my new scale against the one there. There was always a 2 lb difference between my home scale and the one there.  However, I am always fully dressed at the clinic and at home I weigh in naked or just in underwear so I was counting them as pretty much the same.












Jun 8, 2017

Weigh In Week 38

Leaving for PA in a few minutes! See ya next week!!! 

Jun 5, 2017

Now What?

 

It's not my official weigh in day but this is what I saw on the scale this morning.

This has been a long road. I've not seen this number on the scale since I was 23 years old (to save you the math, that's almost 27 years!).   

I've hit 190 many times over the years and maintained 190-195 lbs for several years at a time. But getting below that was always elusive and seemingly impossible.

Seriously a long time to get here. Throw in medical issues, grief, raising a young family, a disabled husband, a career with a lot of travel, and ailing/aging parents and it always felt so hard to do things I needed to do to contribute to a healthier me. Some other challenges along the way; PCOS, hypothryoidism and some other metabolic disorders which means calories in/calories out has never ever worked for me.  I know I have to limit all carbs (especially processed though) and also eat pretty much low fat for me to lose at all. It sucks. I'd love to be able to eat 1300-1400 calories of whatever and still lose.  But I don't. I know this and have tried to fit into nutritionist's boxes of eating whole grains and fruit and then be so frustrated when I gain weight. So now, I know my body best and the results speak for themselves. And there is still a long road ahead.  

Definitely having a great medical team who finally helped me get the PCOS and high insulin under control and find the right level of thyroid meds has a lot to do with it and I think as my body gets healthier, it functions better and the old problems rear their head less and less. Even fibro flare ups are reduced both in severity and frequency as I lose weight.

I have to admit though, that reaching a reasonable goal weight seems achievable now but since this is all new territory, I have no idea what that goal weight might be. My doctor (thankfully!) doesn't believe too much in the BMI scale. According to BMI a normal weight for my height at 5'0" is 97-123 lbs.  I weighed 118 lbs when I was 19 and was very, very skinny.  At 21 I weighed 130 lbs and wore size 6 in most clothes, some size 8.  So at 50 years old, with lots of extra skin tissue and curves, I am not sure what is realistic and since it is still at least 30-40 lbs away I am not going to dwell on it too much. Whatever number I decide, I know maintaining it...well that's a whole other bridge I will have to cross when I get there. I have also learned not to focus on scale oriented results. 

I can't control what my body will do on any given day in terms of water retention, hormones etc. but I can control how much activity I do and how much (and more importantly, what) I eat.  I try to see weight loss as a by product of those activities rather than the end goal.  It's a subtle difference but makes it so much easier for me when the scale doesn't show the result I think should correlate to my effort immediately.  It also allows me to take satisfaction and pride in being able to walk 5K faster this week than last week, being able to walk 10k easier than last week, being able to run up a flight of stairs and not be winded, be able to paint my own toenails, have more room in my tiny shower stall, fit into clothes at regular stores....all of these NSV's (non scale victories) are just as validating as the number on the scale that will eventually catch up if I keep doing all the right things.

This is a great podcast about "quitting" that applies to all areas of life, not just weight loss.  She also has a whole series on just weight loss that I am going to start listening to while I'm on out walking this week.



Jun 3, 2017

Muscle MLK 5k

It was a gorgeous day but this damn sinus cold made it feel like the longest 5k ever!! My gun time (for walking) was 59.28. Pretty slow for a race or any time for that matter!  The victory is that I really wanted to cancel but I went anyway.  We were given wrong directions by the race co-ordinators on kit pick up day so we ended up in the wrong end of the park and only arrived at the start line 5 minutes before gun time and I still had to go pee which was about 500 m away so I ran - yes RAN - to the washrooms and back and hit the start line about 2 seconds after the gun went off.


Jun 2, 2017

Weigh In Week 37 

May has been an up and down month.

Not just on the scale but in life in general.

I've been fighting a flu/cold since the first week and I get better for a few days then it hits full force again. The sinus headache and the cough is the worst as they keep me up at night and I am so tired I could sleep standing up at this point!

I think my overall loss for May was 3.7 lbs which is my smallest monthly loss to date.  My average weekly loss is 1.25 lbs.  It's still a downward trend but it's not great.

I am not sure what to expect next. I haven't been this weight in over 23 years (a longer post about that some other time).

May 30 was my company's AGM and part of the reason for having worked so many long hours in the last few weeks.  It was a lovely evening and I wore a very 'out of my comfort zone' dress and I did feel a bit like Cinderella with all the compliments and attention.  These are mostly people I had not seen since the last AGM a year ago and some people I work with but only see sporadically.  It was a very surreal feeling to have people come over to me and say they didn't recognize me at first.  I don't think I look that different. Smaller, yes.  And I am sure the dress had a lot to do with it as I normally wear pants / blouses to work and my hair was down - it's usually up during the week or at least pushed back.  When I get the photos from the photographer I will post some.

May 31 was Dennis' birthday and me and the boys spent the day together. We had lunch at a burger joint we used to go to as a family and that Den and I were at on it's opening day almost 30 years ago. I guess I haven't been since we lost him because the owner right away asked where he was and why we hadn't been in for so long.  I felt bad for him because he felt so terrible when we told him that he gave us free lunch in his memory.  It was a nice way to acknowledge his birthday and for me and the boys to have time to reminisce and laugh.

I am busy at work right up until mid - June then things drastically slow down until the end of August and I am so looking forward to the mental break!  Funnily enough, I've been assigned a summer student assistant at the time of the year I need the least help!  But it will give me a chance to catch up on all those things that never get done.

Next weekend (June 9-12) I am going to Wilkes-Barre PA to visit a high school friend and his wife. I try and go every year but the last time was Fall 2015 so it's been a while. I love road trips!  It's about a 7 hour drive with stops and we go through the mountains so it's an absolutely gorgeous drive. I've never made the drive in the summer, only the Fall, so it will be so nice to see the difference of the seasons in the mountains.  My friends are lovely lovely people but do not eat at home - EVER. So it will be a weekend of eating out. I am staying at a hotel this time which makes it a bit easier to at least control my breakfast and I can use the gym first  thing in the morning. I'm hoping to get at least one long walk in over the weekend as they live near some nice trails and the rest of the time will be at an amusement park, garage sales, shopping, restaurants and sitting on their deck watching the sunset.  Although it's a mini-vacation it will be anything but restful....but it will be so much fun.