Sep 30, 2016

Week 2 Weigh In


Week 2 went well. I'm down 6.2 lbs in two weeks. I lose weight soooooo slowly and I know that's what discourages me and makes me lose motivation. 

How I think quitting and regaining is going to make the process faster, I am not sure!

I used more weekly points this week, ending the week with just 1 left over but I earned 86 fit points and got in close to 10,000 steps every day.  This week's goal is 7,500 steps each day and I surpassed that yesterday (day 1 of my week).  I even went out for a walk in the cold, drizzly rain at lunch time.

I have no plans for the weekend.  Housework, read, some coursework, and walk :)

Sep 27, 2016

Riding the high tide

Week 2 is almost in the bag. Weigh in day is Thursday. Week 2 went fairly well.

I had a not so great eating day on Saturday and used about half my weekly points on top of my regular points for the day just snacking throughout the day rather than eating real meals which is always my downfall on the weekend because I have no real schedule.  I managed to reign it in on Sunday and have stayed right on points or  2-3 points below my daily points since then so I’m hoping it all balances out.  Either way it was a reminder that complacency NEVER works with weight loss. It is constant diligence and persistence and consistency that win.  

Yes, I know this in my head…in practice not so much! 

The snacking was not terrible food, but it wasn’t necessary and by the end of the day I had eaten more food than I would have if I had just stuck to three meals.  That’s my challenge to work on going forward.

I am not expecting another big loss like last week and I have to learn to accept small losses and not get discouraged or lose motivation.  I remember my endocrinologist telling me years ago that if I lost on average, 1 lb, a week, in two years I’d be at goal and that was way, way longer than two years ago!  

Some lessons take a long time to sink in apparently.

I am loving this Fall weather after the heatwave we had through all of August.  I am loving walking again and am looking forward to the very short season of Fall colours that have already started.  Its amazing how once you get out of a habit it feels like a chore and then when you get back into it, you can’t remember why you ever stopped doing something you loved so much.   

As you might guess, I seem to be in a really good place right now and to be truthful I am.  A lot in my life is right.  I have a great job that is just challenging enough to keep me interested but no real stress; financially stable and no debt; my boys have grown into great young men that I love to spend time with and have adult conversations with; and I have a lot of time to myself to read, walk, hike – do whatever I want.  Sometimes I do get a bit lonely and I do have days where everything seems to remind me of Den and I am very sad but those days are fewer than they were a few months ago so I feel like I’ve turned a corner on that grief.

But I know this feeling won't last forever so I'm making the most of it!

Sep 26, 2016

Feeling Fine Monday!

Halfway through my second week of WW and so far so good.  I’ve hit my goal of 5,000 steps every day and exceeded it most days this week.  On Thursday I’ll up it to 7,500.  Most days I am exceeding even that, but I am setting realistic goals instead of lofty goals then disappointing myself and feeling like a failure.  I know it’s all in my mind and that’s my biggest enemy!

I did meet with my friend yesterday who recently had WLS. She looks great- not just weight wise, but her skin and eyes and hair are glowing. I’ve never seen her looking so healthy and happy. I am so thrilled for her.  We talked a lot about the process, the surgery and expectations.

I did meet with my own doctor last week and he is getting me a referral to the bariatric program at the local hospital for both the surgical and medical bariatric program.  He has said I likely won’t qualify for surgery so not to get my hopes up (but honestly, I haven’t even made up my mind one way or the other – I am still in the information stage) but he feels that some support would be helpful since I manage to lose weight but can’t seem to maintain the loss. He is a wonderful doctor, he did say that I can’t take all the blame – some of it is genetics, some of it is metabolic syndrome (PCOS, hypothyroidism, fibromyalgia) but maybe with more support and someone following me closely medically, I may have more success with maintenance even if I don’t get to my goal weight.   

We also talked about ‘goal weight’ and because I am only 5 feet tall, the charts say I should be 130-135 at the top end of the scale.  He thinks 150-160 is more realistic at my age and body type and health issues. Of course, he said don’t settle if you can do better, but don’t kill yourself trying to get there either. If I can maintain at 160 and all my blood work is good, although still overweight, I will be in a better place than I am at 220+. 

I am open to any and all suggestions because this pattern is old and making me wonder why I bother.  Not to mention that I am not a failure, in other areas of my life and this weight loss – non-success makes me feel like one.

I do have the support of some very good friends so I can’t say I am alone in this and I know how fortunate I am to have that.

Today is a good day. I am feeling strong, confident and ready to take on the world.  Let’s hold on to that!

Sep 22, 2016

Week 1 Weigh In

That's 4.6 lbs down in week 1.

I ended with 14 Weekly Points remaining and earned 45 Fit Points.

Sep 18, 2016

Sunday Funday

Some good news to start the day off!

I had some blood work last week and today was able to look up the results.  My A1C is back under 7. (It says HIGH because 6.0 % or higher is a diagnosis of diabetes, but for someone with diabetes, 6.8% is quite good - not great...but it is good control).

This means that the last three months of being so careful to watch what I eat is working and has paid off. It's an never ending battle and this result is with oral medications. My goal is to get here with just diet and exercise. I did it before and I can do it again. It takes three things: 1. Focus 2. Time and 3. One day at a time.

Today's plans changed when a friend showed up from out of town and we ended up going for lunch....20 points later - well I did bring half home for dinner so that's sorted and my points for the day are still good.  

Restaurant food is always so hard to track and then it's loaded with sodium!  I managed to find more or less what I ate on the WW app so hopefully I've tracked it fairly closely. The good thing is that I eat at home and pack my lunch during the week so I won't need to use any more weekly points, even though I have more than half left with three days of my WW week to go.

I am all set for tomorrow, lunch packed, smoothie ingredients ready to go for breakfast and my Skechers in my bag for a lunch time walk.

The new app gives A LOT of points for fit bit activity. Way too many I think. So far, in 4 days, I've earned 32 activity points just from walking 6,000-7,000 steps a day.  Thankfully, I have no intention of eating those points.  That has always seemed like defeating the purpose to me. Maybe when one is fit and healthy, one can exercise a little more to cover a calorie-laden meal or an ice cream cone, but let's face it, my walks are not burning that many extra calories and I really feel it's one of the misleading things about WW, that they really advocate that you can exercise away a bad food choice.

I took a sneak peek at the scale this morning and hoping all goes well for my first weigh in on Thursday morning.

Sep 17, 2016

Open to the Public

I reopened my blog to the public.  I think I am ready to get some of that awesome support that I know exists out there!

Today was Day 3 of WW and all is good so far. I committed to 5,000 steps a day for the first week and I have surpassed that every day. Tonight I went for a short walk around my "new" neighbourhood (Liam and I moved back in February so I don't have my beautiful Mountain Brow right outside my door anymore) and it's quite a cute little place. Some beautiful homes and properties and I ran into a lot of other people out walking. It is a gorgeous night for walking. It rained all day so the humidity of the last few weeks has broken and there was a cool breeze. Fall is definitely rearing it's lovely head; it was dark by 8 p.m. and leaves are already swirling from the trees.  Fall has always signalled a time of renewal for me and I am so glad to be welcoming it :)

Foodwise, WW has been going well. The point structure is much more .... strict....if I can say that. Processed foods, carbs and high fat foods are much much higher in points than my last go - round with the Points system.

It does take some planning to stay on track.

I hope to hear from some of my old blogging friends as I have been following them all along and tried to keep up with them.

Hi Chris (NZ), Anne (TX), Diva (ON)....and all you others out there!

Sep 16, 2016

Do Something

The last few weeks I seem to have been in a bit of a paralysis of not knowing what to do and feeling like everything is hopeless.  Not so much a pity party as just not knowing how to make this work for the long term. I've lost 50 or so pounds several times in my adult life and then regain, thankfully never going higher and higher but losing below 185 seems to be my downfall and then I regain.

Yesterday I signed up for WW on line with my good friend, who I met through blogging, Tiffany.  She is struggling right now as well and I think we can support each other.  I am not sure I like the new app but the program seems more geared towards healthy eating which I think is a huge improvement.

I am allotted 30 points per day and 42 flex points per week.  Yesterday I used 34 points. I would have ended the day at 28 but mid-afternoon I was in my car and my blood sugar dropped and all I had with me was a granola bar (6 points!). I will have to plan better. The new meds I am on for Type II Diabetes seem to give me lows quite often, I've never experienced them like this before. I do have a Dr. appointment next week and will talk to him about that.

I am also going to talk to him about WLS.  I went through the process back in 2008 when I was around 260 lbs and did most of the preliminary classes and the psychological tests.  Then Dennis had an aneurysm and I put it all on hold and never went back.  I am sitting at 229 lbs as of today and definitely in better health than I was then so I am not sure if I would still qualify since once I do the pre-op diet, I would be under 200 lbs.  I honestly have mixed ideas about this but I think I should investigate further. The wait list in Ontario is so long that just looking into it and restarting the steps will take about a year.

I am working on wearing my FitBit more consistently and yesterday did over 7000 steps which is pretty much a high for me lately.  I'm committing to 5,000 a day for this week (Thurs  - Thurs) and see where I go from there.