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Mar 3, 2010

Where am I?

Today I feel a bit lost.

I am feeling like I am not sure what to do now. Which is silly, because I have been doing it - eating properly, exercising 5-6 times a week - but I feel like I am in limbo somewhere.

I know that eating less and moving more (Hi Dawne and Jack) works for some people, but I need structure, I need rules. I'm data driven and I like to "know" what I'm eating and how much I'm exercising.  It makes me feel more in control of myself and my habits. I know that some people say it's just trading one obsession for another, but I don't think it is. I didn't get to 250lbs and Type II diabetes because I knew what I was doing - I got there because I didn't know what I was doing,  I didn't know how much I was eating, how little I was exercising. If you had asked me (back then)  I would have told you I mostly eat well and I'm active.  Well, compared to now, I was a sloth and I ate like every day was my last meal.

For this week, I haven't been counting calories or points. I've just been eating like I always do and exercising but I feel...scared? I don't know if that's the right word. I feel like I'm on a tightwire with no safety net or driving without my seat belt. 

So, still working on that one. In the meantime, working on losing these $&**!@ 6 lbs that I gained back. 2 down, 4 to go.

9 comments:

The Incredible Shrinking Family said...

Losing weight is HARD work- and that does not always mean physical work ! Each of us is wired in a different way, and what woks for one will never work for all. Weeding through all the great ideas to find the one that works for your very own individual body can make you want to scream to the sky or punch something out of the frustration. All you can do is try, evaluate, tweak, try again until you find exactly what works for you. In the meantime, we have to remember that we are so much more than a number on a scale or a progress chart that constantly moves in a single direction.We are people who are fearfully and wonderfully made, with a million shining points and the world is a better place because we are part of it.

Eat To Live said...

i'm no expert but what works for me is to stay diligent about reading blogs and entering every calorie I eat into my blackberry. i have urges and i'm lazy about exercise but I will not give in. you have to develop an attitude about it and make it the most important thing in your life. it's selfish but so what.

ETL

Katie J said...

I am right there with you Enz. I am up 5 lbs. from my lowest thus far and I am just teetering. It didn't help to drink 6 beers on Saturday either... ughh...

Joanne said...

Enz - you have been one of my biggest cheerleaders so it pains me to see you struggling. I know when I get into "mode" I turn to my calorie PDA. I love the structure and portability (compared to the online sites - which are great). I ordered mine from Coheso - it also tracks exercise. Which reminds me I need to do my latest meal input.

Here for you!!!!

Syl said...

I have tried many times to drop the tracking and it just makes me feel completly out of control as far as am I eating enough, to much, is that worth more than I think it is etc etc.
Counting keeps me on track and more accountable, but sometimes everyone including me, needs a break from it all :-)

Actual Scale said...

If you are data driven, what about a pedometer? They are fairly cheap (& even the cheap ones seem to work fairly well) and it would give you a new focus, at least temporarily, which might be the boost you need to get you feeling better?

The reason I say this is that I went through a slump about 6 months ago & ended up buying a Body Bugg. It was great as far as the information went but by the end of 6 months I was done & just sold it on ebay. Luckily, it sold for enough that I'm only out $50 for the 6 months, but I now wish I would have just bought a $10 pedometer! lol
Anyway, having something different to focus on really helped me.

Best wishes,
Lynn

Kimberley said...

I have been missing your posts. Great job on the loss!!!

Kyle Gershman said...

I'm a very analytical person as well. I use Bodybugg because it structures the caloric logging and gives me knowledge of my burn. I can focus on my daily/weekly caloric deficits and over time relate that to the rate and degree of weight loss. Before the "bugg", I would track the calories in, but now I have both sides of the equation.

Fiona said...

You know what works for you so do that :)

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