Thank you so much for all your supportive comments and emails the last few weeks.
The "perfect" apartment didn't work out so well, long story - but I had to start looking elsewhere. I ended up in Hamilton and found an apartment on the Mountain. It's clean, good size and definitely a good price and a gorgeous view down the mountain side. I fell in love with it immediately, we were approved practically instantly and are all set to move in September 1. What a relief! I cannot tell you how stressed I've been worrying about where we were going to live.
I've already started purging, sorting and packing but am nowhere near done! So much more to do but I feel like I want to do it now that I know my next step.
Why Hamilton? To be truthful, this was a hard decision to come to and I've had two major panic attacks yesterday while trying to decide and I must have changed my mind a dozen times over the 6 hours. Firstly, the rent and living expenses are about 75% less than in Mississauga and significantly less than in Toronto. I have some good friends in Hamilton that are an amazing support network for me as well as in west Oakville and since my sister moved out to Oshawa, I have been feeling a bit adrift on my own. There is an amazing alternative school program in Hamilton for my eldest son, Iain, better than the one that Peel has and I think this will have a positive effect on his future. Hamilton is also a much smaller city and has a different feel than the urban craziness of Toronto and the suburban sprawl of Mississauga.
My commute is not going to be pretty, I work up by Toronto airport. My long term goal is find a position in Oakville/Burlington/Hamilton to be closer to home and then to buy a house in Hamilton. Housing prices are much more affordable for me there than they would be here, especially on one income.
The rest of my life? Work is going well.
Weight loss really has not been my focus and really, it has to be constantly in the forefront of my mind for me to be successful. Somehow, I am maintaining and not regaining - but I am really not putting any effort into it and am just skating by. I am so hoping that when I am out of this limbo I feel I am in, i.e. settled in our new home and new life and new routines that I can refocus on my weight loss goals and keep this going. I wish I could juggle everything but you know what...it just ain't working for me.