Sep 9, 2014

So much to say

So much has happened since my last post. I've been so busy at my new job and life.

Part of my world collapsed just over two weeks ago when my husband passed away suddenly. We had been separated for a few years, and although I have never discussed the reasons behind our separation in a public forum, the people who know us and our situation, know us that we cared for each other very much and remained friends after our separation.

He was the father of my children and the only adult relationship I've been in. I met him when I was 17 and we were together for almost thirty years.

Now that the service is over and we are trying to find a new normal, I am feeling broken and lost. I know time heals all wounds and we (my boys and I) are blessed with the most amazing family and friends who have been supportive and kind throughout the last few weeks and they will continue to support and love us for as long as we need them.

We are just taking one day at a time. If I think of the past, I fall apart and if I think to a future without him, I fall apart. Sometimes I take it moment by moment. It is heartbreaking to have lost him. It's heartbreaking to watch my boys suffer and not know how to ease their pain.  It's heartbreaking to watch life go on and  not be able to bring him back.


15 comments:

  1. Sorry about your loss. Best wishes to you during this tough time.
    -FogDog

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  2. Oh Enz - I've been hurting for you and your boys. I am praying for you as you grieve him. I can't even imagine how difficult it is. xxx

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  3. I'm very sorry for your loss. Glad you are getting lots of support from family and friends. Just being there for your boys, whether it's just for a hug, a walk or for a talk is a way to help ease their pain. Take care of yourself too Enz.

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  4. Oh Enz. That is so sad. So sorry for your loss, your pain and your sadness. My husband just completed 8 weeks of radiation for prostate cancer this past Friday and now we play the waiting game. Wishing you all the best as you and your boys go through this.

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  5. Oh my dear Enz, that is such an awful thing for you and the family to deal with and I'm so sorry. You are right that life will find a new 'normal' in time, but it's a hard path. I can only send hugs and support at such a difficult time. Take care of yourself as best you can and try to remember the best times.

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  6. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your boys are surrounded by family and friends who can offer you strength during such a difficult time. xoxo

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  7. Big hugs Enz, time will heal the pain... it is true believe me.

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  8. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I think the sudden deaths are hardest because there isn't the same amount of time to be with the person before death. Keep strong for your boys.

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  9. Enz, I am so, so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. You have the right idea with taking this one day at a time - eventually, I hope you find some peace. Thinking of you and your family. xoxo

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  10. Enz, I am DEEPLY saddened for your loss! Absolutely tragic, and I wish I was there to give you a big hug.

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  11. You ok chick? You gone silent.

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  12. I am so so sorry for your loss and for your boys loss. I wish I could do something to make it all okay. I am glad you are all surrounded by love and able to support each other through this time. xoxox

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  13. Enz, I'm sorry for your loss. I hope your healing process has started. Hugs!

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  14. Sorry for you loss, I hope you are recovering well.

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  15. Enz, thought of you today. Hope you are well, and being gentle with yourself in your mourning. :(

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