Now What?

 

It's not my official weigh in day but this is what I saw on the scale this morning.

This has been a long road. I've not seen this number on the scale since I was 23 years old (to save you the math, that's almost 27 years!).   

I've hit 190 many times over the years and maintained 190-195 lbs for several years at a time. But getting below that was always elusive and seemingly impossible.

Seriously a long time to get here. Throw in medical issues, grief, raising a young family, a disabled husband, a career with a lot of travel, and ailing/aging parents and it always felt so hard to do things I needed to do to contribute to a healthier me. Some other challenges along the way; PCOS, hypothryoidism and some other metabolic disorders which means calories in/calories out has never ever worked for me.  I know I have to limit all carbs (especially processed though) and also eat pretty much low fat for me to lose at all. It sucks. I'd love to be able to eat 1300-1400 calories of whatever and still lose.  But I don't. I know this and have tried to fit into nutritionist's boxes of eating whole grains and fruit and then be so frustrated when I gain weight. So now, I know my body best and the results speak for themselves. And there is still a long road ahead.  

Definitely having a great medical team who finally helped me get the PCOS and high insulin under control and find the right level of thyroid meds has a lot to do with it and I think as my body gets healthier, it functions better and the old problems rear their head less and less. Even fibro flare ups are reduced both in severity and frequency as I lose weight.

I have to admit though, that reaching a reasonable goal weight seems achievable now but since this is all new territory, I have no idea what that goal weight might be. My doctor (thankfully!) doesn't believe too much in the BMI scale. According to BMI a normal weight for my height at 5'0" is 97-123 lbs.  I weighed 118 lbs when I was 19 and was very, very skinny.  At 21 I weighed 130 lbs and wore size 6 in most clothes, some size 8.  So at 50 years old, with lots of extra skin tissue and curves, I am not sure what is realistic and since it is still at least 30-40 lbs away I am not going to dwell on it too much. Whatever number I decide, I know maintaining it...well that's a whole other bridge I will have to cross when I get there. I have also learned not to focus on scale oriented results. 

I can't control what my body will do on any given day in terms of water retention, hormones etc. but I can control how much activity I do and how much (and more importantly, what) I eat.  I try to see weight loss as a by product of those activities rather than the end goal.  It's a subtle difference but makes it so much easier for me when the scale doesn't show the result I think should correlate to my effort immediately.  It also allows me to take satisfaction and pride in being able to walk 5K faster this week than last week, being able to walk 10k easier than last week, being able to run up a flight of stairs and not be winded, be able to paint my own toenails, have more room in my tiny shower stall, fit into clothes at regular stores....all of these NSV's (non scale victories) are just as validating as the number on the scale that will eventually catch up if I keep doing all the right things.

This is a great podcast about "quitting" that applies to all areas of life, not just weight loss.  She also has a whole series on just weight loss that I am going to start listening to while I'm on out walking this week.

Check out this great Podcast: https://itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-life-coach-school-podcast-with-brooke-castillo/id870239631?mt=2