Happy Birthday and Happy Halloween

My birthday weekend was quite low key which was perfect after the hustle and bustle of the last few weeks.

My oldest son came and spent the weekend with us and he barbecued on Sunday afternoon so it was a nice birthday dinner of burgers, hotdogs, chicken and salad.  I made a cake from a sugar free cake mix we had it with homemade whipped cream and frozen berries.  It was lovely and just perfect.

I spent Saturday night reading my new book  while the 'boys' went out to a Halloween party.  The peace and quiet was sublime :)

On Sunday we went to a local park and my son's girlfriend took some photos of myself and my boys.  They asked me what I wanted for my birthday and that's what I asked for, some nice photos.  I'll post a few when I get them from Shayne.

Yesterday, my actual birthday, I had made plans to get a pedicure/manicure/eyebrows and go to dinner with a friend, but I decided to cancel all that and just stay home and I have no regrets. I did some housework, which was much needed because it feels like I have not been home for two days in a row in months (which I haven't!) and there was lots to do....but there was no rush and I just puttered about.  I threw a frozen pizza in the oven for dinner for me and Liam and we had that with leftover cake for dinner so it was a very low key day.  I got caught up with Discovery (Star Trek) and read some more, took a nap, organized my dresser - a productive but non-stress day. Perfect!

Today is Halloween and since we have  separate entrance to our apartment, I normally give out candy but this year I gave it all to my landlady (who lives upstairs) and she will give it out with hers and I think I may go do the pedi/mani/eyebrows since the salon and mall are bound to be less busy than normal tonight.

At work, we have a daycare in our building so we normally decorate and dress up and hand out candy to the parade of little ones who come through.  I wore Halloween pajamas today. Normally I am off on this day but since I am off later in the week for a conference, from Thursday to Sunday,  I needed to come in to get caught up.

This is my last 'crazy' week and then life goes back to normal. My YMCA membership starts up again next week and I will find time to start attending meetings which were supposed to help me get through this season, when in fact, I've gained weight since I started meetings!  There is no correlation there except for crappy timing on my part. Having said that, I am not sure I will continue with meetings after my subscription ends in January, I may go back to online as it did work for me for quite a long time and with my regular YMCA trips, I did quite well. I will reevaluate after the holidays. Right now, I just want to get through this weekend and get back to my normal life.

I have Monday off and I am planning to go to the Y to an Aquafit class and hit the treadmill and bike in the morning.  And if our Fall weather holds up for a few more days I can get a hike in the afternoon before it gets dark.  Next week our clocks go back so it will be very dark before 5 p.m.

Nothing new to report on the weight loss front. Maintaining around 190-193 lbs and glad to have stopped the gaining upward but definitely need to refocus and recommit. 

Vegas Recap

I am not feeling much like writing about weight loss today. Still in a funk. Yesterday was NOT a good day.

So here is something else instead!

I loved Vegas.

It was overwhelmingly loud, crowded and chaotic and 3 days was just the right amount of time for me to spend there.

We walked so much! One day I had over 35,000 steps before 8 p.m.  Most days were well over 20,000 steps.

I could have spent an entire day exploring The Venetian hotel and The Bellagio.

We went to Fremont Street, up and down the entire strip, we did a bus tour that took us past Mandalay Bay, the arena and the Las Vegas sign where the memorial is (the tour wasn't to see that, it just happened to be on the route of the tour).  We also went into downtown Las Vegas near the Stratosphere. What a difference!

We rode the monorail which gave us an awesome view of the strip from on high.

We didn't see a show or gamble but I didn't miss either. We spent about 4 hours at one of the outlet malls that I regretted as its the same outlet mall we have in Niagara Falls Canada and Niagara Falls New York but my friend really wanted to go so we went with her.

Our hotel was lovely. It was  Vdara which is right behind The Bellagio.  It's a resort/spa hotel rather than a casino hotel so it was quiet and not crazy busy in the lobby or common areas.  I had a bath every day (just to remind you I don't have a bath in my apartment - just a shower - so this is a real treat!)

The Bellagio fountain shows were spectacular and we watched several each evening as well as the fountains at Wynn.

On the fourth day we went to the Hoover Dam and the south rim of the Grand Canyon.  It was our last day so we only had about 2 hours at the Canyon which was nowhere near enough time. If I go back, I would spend an entire day or two there.  Words cannot express the magnitude or the sheer awesome size of it.  Photos do not do it justice. 

We made a stop at Route 66!

We got back to the airport very late and only just as our plane was boarding so it was a bit of a chaotic and frantic end to our trip, but we arrived home safe and sound, albeit tired!

Battista's Hole in the Wall - rustic and authentic Italian food like Nonna used to make!  The best meal I had there!

Top of the double decker tour bus.

My new friends :)  My sons loved Woody and Buzz as children, so this one was for them.

Gondola at The Venetian.

Selfie at the Grand Canyon

The High Roller - I would definitely take a ride on it if I go again.

On the bus.

More new friends. A 4 storey store of M & Ms!

Heart Attack Grill. The single patty burger is a normal size (4 oz) burger and was delicious!

Didn't expect to find Pennywise!

Floor of the Venetian and now my screen saver on my iPhone as it's my first initial.

Heaven on earth :)

As Eminem would say, "Come take my hand (come take my hand) We'll walk this road together, through the storm...."

I woke up with this song in my head this morning, specifically the bolded lyrics - not a bad thing!

Yesterday was better. I tracked  everything and drank water and didn't feel like a complete failure.  My points were high but not crazily so.  I was in bed by 9 and I think asleep by 9:15. The fibro pain exhausts me some days but at least it helps me sleep instead of the pain keeping me awake (as it does sometimes).

Today's goal: Track everything AND stay within my WW healthy range of 27-37 points and drink water.

One day at a time.

Today is a long day, I have to take my son to the surgeon for the follow up to his hernia surgery last month and then I have a Board meeting from 5:00-9:00 p.m.

I am not looking beyond today right now. I have been feeling very overwhelmed and anxious with work and personal commitments so  I think it will help to step back and try and take each day as it comes.


I'm not afraid - Eminem

I'm not afraid (I'm not afraid)
To take a stand (to take a stand)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my hand (come take my hand)
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just letting you know that you're not alone
Holler if you feel like you've been down the same road (same road)

(Yeah, it's been a ride
I guess I had to, go to that place, to get to this one
Now some of you, might still be in that place
If you're trying to get out, just follow me
I'll get you there)

You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'em
But you won't take the sting out these words before I say 'em
Cause ain't no way I'ma let you stop me from causing mayhem
When I say I'ma do something I do it,
I don't give a damn what you think,
I'm doing this for me, so fuck the world
Feed it beans, it's gassed up, if it thinks it's stopping me
I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly
And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony
No ifs, ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he
From "Infinite" down to the last "Relapse" album
He's still shitting, whether he's on salary paid hourly
Until he bows out or he shits his bowels out of him
Whichever comes first, for better or worse
He's married to the game, like a fuck you for Christmas
His gift is a curse, forget the Earth, he's got the urge
To pull his dick from the dirt, and fuck the whole universe

I'm not afraid (I'm not afraid)
To take a stand (to take a stand)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my hand (come take my hand)
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just letting you know that you're not alone
Holler if you feel like you've been down the same road (same road)

Okay quit playing with the scissors and shit, and cut the crap
I shouldn't have to rhyme these words in the rhythm for you to know it's a rap
You said you was king, you lied through your teeth, for that
Fuck your fillings, instead of getting crowned you're getting capped
And to the fans, I'll never let you down again, I'm back
I promise to never go back on that promise, in fact
Let's be honest, that last "Relapse" CD was ehhh
Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground
Relax, I ain't going back to that now
All I'm trying to say is get back, click-clack, blow
Cause I ain't playing around
It's a game called circle and I don't know how, I'm way too up to back down
But I think I'm still trying to figure this crap out
Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn't, this fucking black cloud
Still follows me around but it's time to exorcise these demons
These motherfuckers are doing jumping jacks now!

I'm not afraid (I'm not afraid)
To take a stand (to take a stand)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my hand (come take my hand)
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just letting you know that you're not alone
Holler if you feel like you've been down the same road (same road)

And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, I'ma face my demons
I'm manning up, I'ma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now! (now)

It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me
Admittedly, I probably did it subliminally
For you, so I could come back a brand new me you helped see me through
And don't even realize what you did, 'cause believe me you
I been through the ringer, but they could do little to the middle finger
I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of
My world, haters can make like bees with no stingers
And drop dead, no more beef lingers
No more drama from now on, I promise
To focus solely on handling my responsibilities as a father
So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof, like my daughters
And raise it, you couldn't lift a single shingle on it!
Cause the way I feel, I'm strong enough to go to the club
Or the corner pub, and lift the whole liquor counter up
Cause I'm raising the bar
I'd shoot for the moon but I'm too busy gazing at stars
I feel amazing and I'm...

I'm not afraid (I'm not afraid)
To take a stand (to take a stand)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my hand (come take my hand)
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just letting you know that you're not alone
Holler if you feel like you've been down the same road (same road)

Written by Matthew Samuels, Marshall Mathers, Jordan Evans, Louis Resto,

Lost: All motivation. If found return to...

Seriously in a funk.  Fibro flare up is kicking my ass. And I want to stay in bed and shut out the world.

Today's goal is to just track everything and drink water.

Just that.

One day at a time.

What happens in Vegas....

I arrived home very early yesterday morning (Tuesday) and it's taking me some time to get over the time change.  I had a great time - a longer post, details and pics to follow!

I am not weighing in this week, my scale shows a slight gain but I feel bloated and tired and jet lagged and gross and I do not want the scale to overshadow the success I feel at navigating 24 hour restaurants and all the walking I did so I will use this week to reset my body to yogurt/fruit/fresh vegetables and my beloved steeped tea and will weigh in next week at my normal day :)

I'm catching up on all your blogs :)  I missed you!

Weigh In Week 56

Are you freaking kidding me??!!!

This is not my regular weigh in day but is a week after my last one.  The next one will go back to my regular Friday or Saturday.
I am off to Vegas tonight!!!!! 
What a week it has been!
I left for Rochester last Thursday afternoon and came home Saturday evening. It was an awesome few days away and I came back feeling mentally recharged.  Unfortunately it rained both days but we did get a 12km walk along a boardwalk and pier in between the rain on Friday. Saturday it was just too wet (for our sensibilties!) and I was also having issues with my hip so we mall walked and shopped :)
I went with a friend who recently had WLS so it was easy to stick to a healthy eating plan because she didn't want to do restaurants and I didn't NEED to eat at restaurants to have a good time.  We actually ended up eating breakfast from the hotel buffet (boiled eggs and coffee for me) and lunch was just out and about (protein bar and an apple) and dinner picked up Boston Market takeout where I could have early Thanksgiving dinner without having to cook it (turkey breast, stuffing, green beans). Yep, I splurged on the stuffing!  It was worth it, even though it was probably just Stove Top.
We got home early Saturday evening and I pretty much crashed.  Sunday morning I rushed to make my homemade stuffing to take to our Thanksgiving dinner at my son Iain's and pick up some groceries before heading to Toronto for the afternoon. Sunday was also my wedding anniversary so I was a bit down and teary when I first woke up but then the busy-ness of the day took over.  It was a long day though and Monday I pretty much just watched Netflix and read my new book and did NOTHING.
Back to work on Tuesday and my desk was a disaster. I was determined not to stress though and just sorted through the piles, made lists and prioritized. I only had 2 1/2 days, so clearly, some stuff would have to wait. Normally I stress and go mad trying to catch up, this time I just let it be.
Tuesday night I got out for an hour hike before it got dark.  Evening walks/hikes are going to ending very soon, it's dark by 7 p.m. now and the trails are just too dark.  Even the moonlight doesn't penetrate the trees enough . I do have hiking lamps but I am not sure how safe it is, last year there was a series of assaults on the trails so I don't feel too confident and it's very isolated and with little visibility beyond the trail into the trees. My YMCA membership starts up again in a few weeks though so it will be back to the treadmill most evenings.
Well I have to go pack for Vegas! Talk to you next week!
Some photos from our 12km walk through Turning Point Park in Rochester.

Weigh In Week 55

A day early as I’m off to Rochester this afternoon and a short post because I am using my phone. More when I’m back but finally feeling “back”! Down 2.1 lbs this week - weight I am re-losing but happy to have stopped the upward trend!

Weigh In Week 54

                                         

Note: I meant to post this on Saturday but forgot, so this is actually last week's update.

Round and round she goes and where she stops nobody knows!

How did this week go? I am still not 'in the game' but this week I was more conscious of the little things I had let slip over the last few months that add up to big things - drinking less water, not walking for my minimum 30 min every day, less sleep, not pre-tracking/pre-planning meals, not having fruit or a protein bar with me all the time......alone each one is not a big deal but for sure, all of those things together were contributing.  I am a big believer in small changes adding up to big results and although I believe it, I think I stopped practising it.

So I made all these changes and saw success and over time,  I have unmade those changes so it's time to make them again, just like I did last time - one by one.

I just feel....TIRED and I am not sure why. I don't mean physically tired (although there is that too) - I am not sure what I mean.  Thanksgiving is coming up which coincides with my wedding anniversary and this year would have been 29 years.  It's hard.   And I turn 50 this year, maybe it's a mid-life crisis.

October is usually my favourite month (Thanksgiving/Wedding Anniversary/Birthday) but this year I am just dreading it and I have made so many plans!

October 5-6-7 I am going to Rochester, NY with a friend for a hiking/shopping/spa trip, October 12-16 I am off to Las Vegas for the first time as part of my birthday gift to myself and then the 30th is my birthday so the weekend before that I will probably do something special with my sons.
Hopefully I can snap out of this funk somewhere south of 200 lbs.  Maybe I will hit the jackpot in Vegas or find a Sugar Daddy.  Maybe pigs will fly :)

Then the first weekend of November I have a conference at Niagara Falls.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat.