Jan 14, 2010

I think I'm doing it...no..I *am* doing it!

The past two weeks have been really good for me.  I've found a calorie level I can live with, an exercise plan that I can stick to and the strength within me to "just do it". I had this strength when I started last January. It faltered and fell a few times but I always got it back until around September when I felt like life was too much and I couldn't handle taking care of me and everything and everyone else.

It took a long time to convince myself that if I didn't take care of me, I wouldn't be able to handle everything else.

Of course, I knew this in my head. Of course, people who love me kept telling me that. Of course, my doctors told me that.  But I didn't believe it. It wasn't until I couldn't take care of everyone else OR me that I truly understood.

I'm doing it now. The last two weeks haven't been easy - but it hasn't been hard either. Some days I exercised because I have to, not because I wanted to. Some days I had to make huge efforts to avoid hearing chocolate call my name - but I did it and I survived.  I ran for 20 minutes on the treadmill the other night - with bronchitis - it wasn't easy and I wasn't running fast, but I did it and I survived.

In my head I know I can do anything. When I come to do it, this little voice tells me I can't. I'm telling the voice to "Shut the fuck up!" now. Thanks Dr. Beck.

I wasn't too sure when I started reading "The Beck Diet Solution" that it would really make a difference. It didn't right away and the differences crept up slowly and subtly...but sure enough...they are there.

10 comments:

  1. You ARE doing it.

    I am so proud of you!

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  2. I love your motivation! I feel like I have been treading water for a few months but bound and determined to get to goal this year! GO US!!!

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  3. You're not only doing it, you're doing it well. I'm proud of you!

    Really got to find my copy of Beck. Hopefully this weekend.

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  4. Dr. Beck would be proud. Way to go Enz.

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  5. yopu bet you are doing it and you will keep on doing it. So as far as Beck updates go 'don't shut the fuck up!' LOL but keep sharing with, because I am sure that thanks to Dr. Beck AND YOU other ppl are noticing changes creeping up on 'em! ;)

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  6. "In my head I know I can do anything. When I come to do it, this little voice tells me I can't. I'm telling the voice to "Shut the fuck up!" now. Thanks Dr. Beck."

    NUFF SAID! ;-)

    When that voice comes, substitute it with another, more powerful and positive voice! Good post.

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  7. I like Dayne's advice. Replace that voice with a more powerful one! Im def going to have to start telling that little voice the same thing! Great post! And YOU are doing GREAT!

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  8. Yay Enz!!! You definitely have to be the one to take care of YOU! Wonderful realization.

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  9. Yay! Isn't it awesome to have that kind of realization?!

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