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Feb 9, 2009

Feb 9 - Daily Journal

Wt: 239.6 (back to my pre-McDonald binge! - I drank tons of water yesterday to flush out my system)

Points: 20.5

Today I worked at my temp job again and it's so easy to stay on program when my day is so structured i.e. working all day. Today was another emotional day, I had an interview first thing this morning and will probably get an offer tomorrow (according to my recruiting agency). I should be overjoyed, especially in this economy. The problem is it is almost half of what I was making before and is only a 9 month contract so no benefits, vacation, sick time etc. Not a great situation. It's very frustrating because I was at my last company almost ten years, and the one before that 9 years and I've always had excellent benefits and good salaries. I know I shouldn't be ungrateful, it's just very demoralizing to be earning less than I was 12 years ago...the job is also a step backwards in terms of skillset and responsibility. It will take alot of getting used to having a constant boss and not setting my own work schedule and hours. I have been struggling all day with what to do....take it and be stuck for the next nine months because there will be no way to take time off to go to interviews, or keep hoping something better will come along?

I've pretty much decided I don't have a choice, and I have to take it although it will mean readjusting our lifestyle big time and maybe even having to move.

My blood sugar has been all over the place because of all this stress the last few months of looking for a job, maybe once I am settled into one, that will stabilize as well. In the meantime, I am taking one day at a time and hoping that it will all work out for the best in the long run.

I also realise I am not eating my full point allotment, but really, I am eating ALOT of food and am never hungry, except when I first wake up in the morning - which is a good thing - it means my insulin is working properly and my metabolism is working properly (according to my endo). I don't want to eat more just for the sake of it, especially since I'm not hungry - I'm going to keep going by how I feel and when I am hungry or need to eat more, I will.

Today, at work, I had to pack 7 storage boxes of binders from three high shelves. What a workout that was! Reaching, bending, lifting, moving ...... it reminded me how out of shape I am. I was going to reward myself at 25lbs lost with a Curves membership, but I'm not sure I'll be able to afford that. Maybe I will buy a portable DVD player (one time cost of about $100 vs $100 membership and $30/month ongoing) so I can watch DVDs while I use our treadmill. I love walking outside, but its too cold and icy to do that right now and will be for another 6-8 weeks at least...so I am leaning towards the DVD player as my 25lb reward - such a long way off though!

Enough rambling for tonight. Off to watch Hell's Kitchen in a bit, then to bed.

Breakfast: 3 points
1 pkg Carnation Instant Breakfast - NSA
1 cup skim milk

Snack: 1 point
100g Astro Zero Yogurt

Lunch: 4 points
1 small pita
grilled zucchini, tomato and peppers
2 Laughing Cow cheese triangles
1/2 cup strawberries

Snack: 1 point
100g Kozy Shack Chocolate Pudding (NSA)

Dinner: 6.5 points
Omelette (1/2 cup Natur Egg Liquid Egg, 3/4 oz cheddar cheese, 1 spring onion)
1 small pita with 1 tsp margarine

Snack: 5 points
Brownie and no sugar fudge topping

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